i found out yesterday that the dr wants to remove the lump in my breast.  i felt total calm and peace when she mentioned it, i guess i kinda expected it and was surprised that we were just going to wait for it to shrink.  today i am a bit troubled by the information but mainly because any form of surgery is complicated by other illnesses.  seeing how i deal with diabetes and hypothyroid issues it should be a blast. 

i am guessing i will not have an issue getting the time off, my problem lays in the delayed reaction i have to anything 'traumatic' happening to my body...  when i got my wisdom teeth removed it took about a week to develop any issues and i got dry socket so it was a heck of a development, along with a lot of pain.  with my toe nail being removed it took a week before i experienced any pain.  the biopsy - pain and discomfort a week after the procedure and i am still bruised.  so even though i have taken off three days to 'recover' i may not need the time until the next week.  

scot will come and take care of the invalid.  it will be nice to have him around.  i really do miss him.  he will finally get to meet charity and we will be lazy bums at my place instead of his lol...

i honestly wondered when the result came back that the lump was benign, why we would not just remove the lump.  too hard, too irregular, not like any other lumps i could feel.  (yay for being lumpy...)  i feel good about getting it removed and only nervous if there are more of these lumps in my future will removal  change my body shape?  now that, the change of my shape and possible effect of losing enough tissue to feel that i am not the woman i have become familiar with - this is an honest struggle and no one can say it is not that has not gone through this process.  i know my body does not say who i am inside, but it sure does have a major impact...   i am scared of that part.  people notice the body first.  i see my body first thing in the morning and even time will not change the difference i see from this day forward.  thank You God for today's technology in finding these lumps and bumps with less invasive techniques to remove issues. 

i think i could actually go home and pass out for the next couple days.  that will be impossible however because 'sucker punch' has made it to the $1 movies along with 'i am four' and i want to see them both, at the same time... also i have a dance recital and masked ball to attend.