Love Having A Jealous God

as pressure is turned up and heat applied - i am going to come out a diamond.

i can sense that there is about to be a breakthrough in my thought processes. i have been battling with knowing i am fully loved and accepted by the One Who Formed Me In The Womb and truly believing it inside. i have also been shown that i must give up the fear of man - being concerned with what anyone will say or do depending on my actions and words. taking the emotions that are whirling around me into captivity has been quite a challenge.

i have given power to people, allowing them to be in control of my outcome in life. saying they have the power to give to me or deny me what is needed and desired. God does not want me bowing my knee to anyone but Him. again, He is a jealous God and no one and no thing should be higher than He. if He says i am loved and forgiven, that He promotes me or keeps me where i am, then that is how it is. no one can place value on me - that is impossible. people go by what they see or sense and they can never know the inside of my heart. only God can judge my actions and motives, even i am confused about them without His guidance.

if God wants me to have a job that provides benefits and loads of cash, that is in His hands. and He promotes when it is best, when i am ready for the next step. if i have issues to deal with He may keep me right where i am or let me move to another job/place to weed my life. but i can not go searching for promotion. (well i can, but it surely won't be what i truly want.) He will choose how to provide my needs, using whatever He so desires. (He is good and i can fully trust Him to provide my needs.)

i would actually like to give a shout out to my God here - He has put me into the perfect position with my job. it sure balances out other areas in my life and has provided me with a great mentor. i am truly blessed. i can see the possibility that is in my future. and the probability of what is my present. God is so good.

thank you, Father, for those You are bringing into my life. You know exactly what i needed.

and just for the record, i can see how He is answering my prayers. not my will, my way, my time, but Yours, Father.

back to earlier mention - i am on the precipice, ready to go over the edge. i wonder if i will have the courage to jump, or if i will simply fall into this next part. God is so good, He is waiting to catch me.

can i say - it just blows my mind how He is jealous over me. as soon as i get myself focused on Him (and this must be done over and over, 'cuz there is a lot much demanding my attention...) the answer is right in front of me. amazing how quickly my prayer is answered, and i see the solution. He is all about showing His might and love.

i often hear the words "hold on, Baby. keep hanging on to Me. Baby hold on." i like being His Baby.

and with that i will say goodnight. God is so gracious to me, His love draws me to Him. it is good to be loved, may i know it deep within. God, don't let me give up. keep me focused and drawing from You.