Weekend Over Already

alright here it is - monday already. i am amazed at how quickly a weekend goes - tho i am not going to say i have a weekend. alright i do, but i spend saturday at work and then home for just enough time to NOT take a nap and then off to church :).

sunday was a great day. we 'slept' in. bob had several things on his list to do and so i got up and followed as best i could. i was pretty tired. he cleaned a corner of the yard that had become overgrown. i gathered trash from there and moved a rock or two. he found a little turtle and it is now living in our sink - cool pet, but we are not keeping him/her because it would be my pet and i have enough to do. (they are actually quite labour intensive... keeping the temp the same, not eating in their living space because of food going bad, changing the tank and keeping it 'native', etc. etc. etc... i have enough pets)(but i still thought it would be a neat one to have around, maybe in the future..)

after bob weed ate (hehehe) the space he got out the lawnmower. so i decided to hop on my bike (well i pulled some of the wild onions we have growing in our lawn up and gathered them together first. i think i killed more than i pulled up..and then i hopped on my bike).

okay!!! the last time i rode a bike i was in 8th grade, maybe high school. it felt weird to get on that bike - not to mention i was too short to reach the pedals (bob was smirking..!!! i saw the smile in his eyes and he was trying REAL HARD to not grin... {tho i can not blame him, it was pretty funny seeing me hanging there on the seat with my toes stretched as far as i could and still plenty short of the ground...} it is very admirable how he holds his humour back at such times of stress...) so he held the bike while i wavered back and forth trying to find my balance. (oh yeah, that happened saturday..)

sunday - oh yes, i got on the bike. with the really hard seat and peddled out of the driveway. between our two cars - good manoeuvring on my part i do believe. actually i used the brakes and the front wheel moved around a lot, probably simple dumb luck i did not smack into either car (they were pretty close.)... the gear was easy and i took off. actually felt like i was ahead of the bike because it was so easy to pedal.

the wind felt great. i had no idea where i was or where i was going so i kept to a general circle. somewhere it began to get familiar.

i wondered if i needed a helmet and pads, if i was too far in the road, you know all the law stuff. what does the state of ok demand?? then i just relaxed and enjoyed it. i finally decided to change the gear because it felt so weird peddling like that and then i hit a hill. so i huffed and puffed, i think the bike may have come to a complete stop at some point while i was trying to get up that 'hill' (more like a small incline..). my legs felt like jell-o when i arrived home, but i managed to get off the bike with no mishap. i may have even looked, dare i say??, capable.. :) baby steps, baby steps, - it will be my mantra...

i stumbled over to where bob was walking the mower, i wanted him to know i did it even when it was challenging to me (what a little kid..). he asked me something that i could not even begin to understand - found out after the fourth repeat he wanted to know if i could smell the onions... (the ONIONS didn't he just see how i struggled out of the driveway, was gone FOREVER - meaning a great ride - and then back home with out a mishap, and he MUST JUST KNOW that my legs were weak and i had worked hard.) 'oh yes, i could smell them as i came up the road. great stuff.' and i followed him into the yard, he handed me a piece of plastic trash and that was that. (oh and i was probably gone only 10 minutes...)

i went inside and looked at the turtle for a few minutes then started some lunch. i knew we were both hungry and it was time to eat. hashbrowns again (we have two bags of potatoes...) and a salad with eggs and tuna - good stuff.

bob went to the garage and began pulling things out. we were going to - okay he was going to and i was going to help in any way i could... - organize the garage. he actually took the time to build a work table.

time out here - amazing man. i can not believe all the skills and talents he has. electrical, plumbing, roofing, general maintenance, welding, lawn care, linesman, audio and video, mechanical, cooks, cleans stuff up, preps work sites before working, does things methodically, measures everything twice, computer networking, software, researches and tears things apart then puts them back together, remodels, woodwork, i mean name it and he has a general knowledge, if not specific knowledge about it.. great leader too. he will also show me how to do something and let me help with it. i got to help cut plywood for his table top.

i was so amazed at the change in the garage . i want to offer suggestions about organization but instead i say over and over - his space and what would be convenient for me would not be for him. only he knows what he needs at hand and if i need to know where something is - wiper fluid - watch where he puts it and remember.. it is with great excitement that i watched this space being gone through. he will finally have a place to be.

and he can get both cars in the garage. it was a concern for him because of the hail storms.

sun evening we just hung out. he has gotten my computer os running and is still researching plug-ins and software drivers. nothing like having all this wonderful software for the computer that only works with windows os.. oh well, i know he will find it all and get the stuff up and running.

i sat this morning with my coffee and bible and just read in psalms. i was reminded that God wants praise and a life of worship - obedience to Him and His ways. as He sets me free and draws me closer i can see it is the knowledge of His great love for me that causes me to want to do what He says. i often see times of critical behaviour and belief of God which coincides with not knowing His love. when i am sure how He thinks of me and that He does want to be with me and not leave me, then i am open to Him. it is easy to surrender what i want to do, and do what He wants me to do because i see He is for my good always, no matter what i see around me.

man!!! i want to get that inside of me. the scripture in romans (8:35) 'can anything separate us from the love Christ has for us? can troubles or problems or sufferings or hunger or nakedness or danger or violent death?' (that is the new century version.) what is it like to know, KNOW that nothing can separate us from His love. that full love is mine. He is love. that word has been so carelessly thrown around my entire life.

Father, it is my prayer to know Your love. to see it and walk in it. to honestly know You do not abandon me or leave me without protection. that You care for me and do not leave me without hope. Father, i know that i have lived in the life of victim, but You say i am victorious, an overcomer, one who has won over her life situations and circumstances - my fault or not - You say wonderful about me. set me free from that old life, help me walk in the life You have given to me. i don't know what it will take, but i want You to take me there. scary or not, take me to Your love - to You.