He Didn't Let Me Give In

okay, so today was tough. seems that there are such highs and lows along this path. God is forever steady and doesn't get all turned up side down (up-side-down?? like that? maybe...). when i listen to something that is not God speaking - all sorts of confusion and turmoil happen.

God is making it more and more apparent that anything that does not bring peace and comfort (mostly whatever disturbs the peace) is not of Him. He is a calming force. so the conclusion is that anything that brings fear into my mind, confusion, disruption of thanks giving to God, questions about His ability to take care of me and this situation, etc.... this list can go on forever - because anything negative is not of God. that could be a long list....

so again - today was tough. there was a lot of negativity attacking my mind. questions. confusion. thoughts of what lies the enemy plants about me. God's word is the authority. ANYTHING THAT DOES NOT LINE UP WITH WHAT IT SAYS IS FALSE - EVEN IF THINGS LOOK THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT THE WORD SAYS.

God does not lie - what He says about me is the truth. what He promises He does. and He even has to help me hold onto those promises. good news still is that i don't have to do anything to make myself more acceptable to Him so i can have His promises working in my life. He blesses me in spite of my shortcomings - why? because He is good. (i am by no means saying that He gives license to do what is against Him, doing what is not right.) it is the sacrifice of Jesus that makes me able to receive His promises and goodness. we know that works do not get us the promises. we know there is nothing in us that makes us good enough. there is nothing i can do to change my character or situation. only God has that power.

He is moment by moment changing me into what He has said about me all along - i am loving, kind, gentle, compassionate, strong,.... etc it is a wonderfully long and beautiful list. know why????? because when He looks at us He sees the completed work done through His Son, Jesus.

i know - it is mind boggling. but that means i have all i need, when i need it. God is amazing. His plan is so far advanced that we simply can not grasp it all.

if salvation relied on me i simply could not maintain goodness. there would come a point in time where i would explode nastiness all over the place. i simply can not maintain wonderful feelings and thoughts about everyone all the time. (i know i know you are shocked - right..) only God can make that change in my life - and boy do i have a ways to go still..... but He is the One to make that change in me. i can not even sustain good thoughts for 24 hours. there will come a point in time where i simply am too tired to be nice and sweet. God however gives me the strength to reply in a kind and loving manner.

have i mentioned too often that God is good?? as if i could ever mention it enough. this is a serious thing. not just the rantings of some person on the net. i have made a connection with life and am amazed at the difference. yes, there are still stinky, wish this never came my way days.. but they are redeemed by the One who loves me. somehow He takes the stinky days and pressure and causes a diamond to show up. and i can see it. that is HUGE. i can look in the mirror and know - somehow - i am changing. it has much to do with knowing i am loved and cared for. nothing can stand against me - God is for me. that is all that matters. (and this is a tough one to learn.) it matters not what anyone says - God knows the truth of the situation and He alone can change it, lifting me up and carrying me along.

i love Him because He first loved me.

draw me to You, Lord.