Do That Thing YOU Do So Well

wow, wednesday was a long time ago. good day, scary evening. glad it is over.

today i was letting my thoughts wonder as i was cooking some turkey legs and hash browns. (well kinda hash browns.....) i was thinking over something God was pointing out. i have these dreams and desires - put in me by God, Himself - and i took them and began to expect people to make them come true. (now, i know we all do this to some extent. and i knew i was putting expectations in the wrong location, but something about how He showed me this today just about stopped me from breathing..)

i fully expected a peoples to make my dream of singing come true. i expected people to make my dream of being a mother fulfilled. i wanted to have people provide the atmosphere so i could be a wonderful wife (perfect too...). guess what!!!! no one can do that. (again a no brainer, but when the truth hits you it sets you free...)

i was a bit horrified that i had gotten that wrapped up in believing a people could fulfill me. so enuf beating myself, because i have yet to find that my merciFUL(L) Father beats me with guilty feelings... i thanked Him for showing me, asked forgiveness, and forgave myself. then i had to release mercy to myself (because i have the tendency to berate, and punish myself. God just asks me why i am being so stupid and making forgiveness so hard. see He forgets we did the thing, putting it as far out of mind as the east is from the west... {you can never go east if you head west to get there.... pretty cool huh????}. i.e. HE DOES NOT KNOW THE ACTION/MOTIVE EXISTS WHEN YOU REPENT AND ASK FORGIVENESS....) then i released the people from my expectations. now when i am around them i can be free to love them without expectation. i am sure i will have to fend off some of the emotional habits associated with those expectations, but the good news - emotions don't rule the outcome when i don't let them.

and for the finale...? God is the only One that CAN provide my hopes, dreams, and desires. in His time. He alone is ABLE, no human has His ability, resources, or knowhow to make me happen.

hmmmm. still sound familiar. amazing how the truth keeps popping up. and the things i already know keep coming around again and again. so now that i recall Who provides for me, and makes things happen i can take the pressure off the people and off myself and trust God to do the thing that He do best... :) hehehehehehe - God is soooooo cool. you gotta get to know Him.