God Is Still Good

today seems to have been a FULL day. went to church this morning and then came home. took a nap after lunch (pork chops and veggies - yummy). headed off to friends around 3:15.

bob and i went on a rafting trip several months ago. we met a couple - mark and carolyn thrash - on the trip and connected. tonight we went to their house for a laid back afternoon/evening. it was a lot of fun. there were six of us all together and we snacked most of the evening and then watched a christmas movie. stayed there until around 11:30 - so i would guess it was fun for all.

oh hey i forgot to mention that i had an interview at walgreens - for the photo lab. i should get a call one way or the other by wednesday. (okay i may have mentioned it, just can't remember who all i have told.....) (and i would hate to have to read my own blog....lol) not sure what i think about the job, but it is better than nothing.

also carolyn did massage therapy in this state. she said that there is not a law requiring a license. soooo that means i could start looking in salons for a job and not have to go back to school. that sure is promising. i need to work on people for a bit to get strength and stamina back. sure is hopeful....

i am looking to go to counseling for anger management. it is past time to deal with some issues that i have been carrying around. found there is a free group therapy i can go to. should have the number tomorrow. i think they meet on tuesday nights. i don't think i am scared about this, maybe i should be..., i just know i need help and waiting around for a magic pill has not helped anything as yet. i could sure use prayer about that too. (not the magic pill, but the therapy.)

well that is all the news for today. i am sure i could come up with tons more, but it is now monday instead of sunday and i am pretty tired.

love to you all, and thank you again for the encouragement and prayers. good things are taking place and i am experiencing a great amount of peace - even while i am convicted of all these things i thought i could hide...

God is still good.

Walking Through Fire

well, life is never easy. i know everyone has heard the saying that you are either going into a struggle, in the midst of one, or coming out of one, but i sure hate that it is true.... lol

joe mcgee spoke at our church a few weeks ago and said some great things: righteous people fall several times a day, they just keep getting up; you don't become a christian to have your life work out all better; the easy stuff comes when you are dead, you struggle now because you are here on earth and life is a struggle. he was very inspirational. i keep taking myself back to things he pointed out - just about life. "take a nap, eat a peanut butter sandwich, and keep moving" great words.

and so i keep walking, seems like a fire all around. yet through that fire the character of Christ is worked out in a person and diamonds show up. (coal in pressure and heat = diamonds... ) and since there is really no stopping it is up to me to keep walking. love the "footprints" poem. it is nice to be carried at times, and then again i want to walk beside Jesus too. God is just to good to let me go on by myself. He is so faithful and loving.

so all is well here, i keep pressing. when there is nothing else it is best to have God. it is best to find oneself hanging on to God instead of finding there is nothing to hang on to.

and finally thank you all for the prayers, i am no longer crying only trusting. and there are times of battling thoughts and attacks on my character (the enemy is quick to throw stuff at me when i am questioning....), but God is faithful and His love covers and allows for a change in my heart, which means there is hope for me still. (always was apparently, i just forgot to look to Him on occasion...). be encouraged, God does not fail. He is always good, always loving no matter what the situation looks like. (see i can even encourage you guys because God has been so good to me....)

Being Still Is Hard

i am sad to say it has taken me so long to get something straight. when God says "BE STILL AND KNOW I AM GOD", that means just that. be still, focus on Him being God.

things don't change overnight, but it has taken 30 years for me to get here.... lol. so when i am crying and wanting pity - hoping it will make God move faster, it just doesn't. He says be still, quit crying and trying to make things happen (doesn't this sound familiar, i am sure i posted something about this earlier....). and just trust.

i have decided to stop any talk from myself, or anyone else, that in any way denies God can handle this situation. anything that even hints that God is not going to restore or heal, that He wants anything other than the best.

He reminded me that robert and i are one. we are in the process of becoming. and it takes dedication and blood to get there. soo i can quit beating myself over all the things in the past and look forward. human actions happen, and that is WHY there was the sacrifice on the cross. we are all stupid at times and do un-God like things, that is WHY there is mercy each day, and grace.

i was reminded that we fall down many times a day, sometimes over the exact same thing, but then we get back up again. it is that power and strength that can only be gotten through trusting God to be God. i can not do it!!! (that is probably the hardest statement to acknowledge for me.) my actions kill, hurt, and destroy. anything done in God's strength is blessed.

Be Still And Know I Am God.
here goes.

Following

wow, okay. how do i follow last night's blog.
well things are going fine. God continues to remind me to be still and know He is God. i still have hope in Him. He is good and takes care of us all, including our situations.
today bob and i went ice skating. not so bad. i am unable to go as long as he can. he is amazing to watch. so quick, and he skates backwards like it is nothing. i enjoyed the activity. (more like running for me than walking, so i got winded.) also could feel rubbing on the inside of my feet. shins hurt a bit, but it was a lot of fun. i need a hot bath/shower and good stretch.
after walking the dog - doing longer walks i mean - i feel my body wants to move faster. i am hoping to find the courage to try running. it is nice to move quickly.
i am going to go watch a dvd with bob now.
love to you all. thank you for the prayers. bob is a great man, no doubt about it.
night

God Is Still My Hope

it is strange how quickly a person's private world can come apart. i am in a place i never believed i could be. if you are praying for us please pray that God's voice will be clear. for me - that i will not react out of emotion or fear. for bob - that he will have the strength he needs.
thank you

Not Too Much Going On

i must say that it is amazing how quickly i find the days passing. so much seems at a standstill, yet time marches on.
since christmas was spent with family so early it is hard to realize today is christmas day. we exchanged gifts with mom and sam, and that has been it. we also opened gifts from my in-laws.
today we went over to friends to eat - ended up there until 9pm. can hardly believe how much time was spent there. sure was nice to be there tho.
i am working outside in the yard. the weather has been so lovely. i am raking leaves and piling up sticks and branches. nice work, easy enough.
today i am thankful that Jesus followed the plan. He had purpose and stuck with it, now i can be free from all the sin and entanglements the enemy has planted. amazing what was done.
God is good and i am believing for wondrous events to take place. there is hope in Him.
my love to you all.
merry christmas.

Hope Renewed

today is sunday - started rough, but God is faithful and He restores hope.

i submitted to the fact that God speaks. He speaks to each one of us and He is good about what He says. so i came home and did some confessing of what He has shown me.

had a very pleasant afternoon, slept about an hour and headed out to a mission tonight - feeding the homeless. i did dishes.... lol. was a very nice way to spend the evening - even tho i got sick to my stomach (passed quickly, yeah!!!) and was encouraged.

God is good in all He does. He does not short anyone. i am encouraged to keep believing He holds all hearts in His hand. that those who love Him will obey Him. and that means i have hope. that means there is hope to have. that means that even when things don't look good He is good and working. He holds the kings heart and moves people into place, especially those that want His will. therefore fear must flee and hope can abound.

God likes to show off. He loves the glory of a bad situation turning out beautiful. did you know that the first miracle Jesus did was to turn water into wine? the water used filled pitchers that had scum and nasty stuff from people washing after being on the road. Jesus told the servants to fill the jars, draw a cup, and take it to the MASTER of the ceremony. He gave the master scummy water - low and behold it was the BEST wine the master had tasted. SOOOOO God takes the scummy nasty stuff and makes it beautiful. if i will abide in Him then He will abide in me. there can be real change. i have hope. i still need help. God is faithful.

i need His strength and power to set me free from things that keep hanging on. anger, rage, and jealousy are deep from childhood and it is time to be free from them. God wants it more than i do, so i am even more encouraged. no excuses - time for freedom.

He will make what i see as being threatened and destroyed, blossom and produce fruit. it is His way and His will. He will be glorified in this life, this marriage. past, present, and future. it is His way.

do what you know then you will know what to do. i do not walk by sight - all things change and God is glorified in change.

something else - it does not matter how many times God has shown me something in the past, it matters that i get hold of as much of it as i can. God doesn't beat me up for not getting something - i beat myself up, and get beat up in the process of missing what He is showing (wisdom will always listen and get understanding..) - but He is always for my good, and does all He can to get me what is needed. He is gracious, and i am going to learn to separate Him from what i think He is, so i can be who He wants me to be.

i love you Lord, be free with me.

God Is The Only Way To Get Changed

well, today has been a harsh day. mom and sam left just as a cold front is settling in here. (tho it may not cause too much trouble.) i am sad to see them go.

have you ever found yourself in a place wondering if you can really change? for most of my life i have white-knuckled along. hoping somehow to make things work. there have been times when i trusted God to actually make a difference, but most of the time i have just walked along angry that things aren't going my way. (can cause a lot of heartache for those that love you..)

today i recognized that doing something the same way for years and expecting a different result does not happen - some call that insanity. the bubble is burst, the dream i have woken up from. i can't keep being what i have been. and that scares me. i am so afraid - there is no way for me to change it. i have not power, discipline, ability. (again trusting in myself is the white-knuckling.) i have never let myself trust God. And if i don't the consequences are worse than i want to pay. some may be what i have to pay anyways - i may not have a choice here. that freezes me, making it so hard to take another step. and i MUST step, those consequences again. that whole doing the same thing and expecting different results....

my perspective has been skewed, and i thought, well it hasn't been working. so tonight as i sat with my communion wafer and grape juice i began to realize only God can do this... only He has the ability to change what i am into what i can be. i can no longer fake it. and i am unsure what to do, alright i kinda have a pict of what to do, but no idea how i am going to do it. one step at a time, one decision at a time.

pastor mark reminded me on thurs night, through the sermon - do what you know and you will know what to do, God inhabits the praise of His people. i am still His people, i want a real change and the pain just may be great enough to see change finally. i am afraid of losing what is dear to me, and have been instructed to not worry about it. God help me, i have not the strength or ability.

He does, i hope i have not decided too late.

Athletic Reserve

there has come a time, again, where i get to experience what it is like to call upon a reserve of greatness. each of us finds time in our life that we wonder if we will ever get through it, if pain will lessen or the hard time will just go away. and while in the situation it appears that eternity will pass as we wait.

God is there. it is like an athlete in shape and with great performance. there is a reserve he can call upon while being chased by his opponents. a knowledge that there is a reserve of strength that will give him the burst of speed to get beyond the goal. the end of that trial. i have never experienced that knowledge until now.

God is here. there is a knowing that God gives that strength and ability to press on. that as things are thrown at me from all sides - i can acknowledge the attacks and God provides the ability to dodge them, or in some cases attack back as needed.

God is there. this time of my life is blinding at times, pain and hurt like i thought i would never see.

God is here - holding me, keeping me, supporting me, granting me peace that goes beyond my understanding. and He sees my tears and replaces them with joy, turning sorrow into gladness. i have not experienced this so strongly before.

so i will continue to call upon this reserve. He is conditioning me for something greater than where i am now. i see myself in a different light, and i see my surroundings differently. still not clear exactly. i simply know that the reserve - my God - is faithful. His ways are better than mine, He thinks differently than i do. and it is a good thing, i could never handle this stuff.

Thoughts

hey all

today we are planning to have our christmas dinner. on the menu - turkey, roast beef, veggies, mashed potatoes, i have sweet potatoes but think i will throw them out - i used my leftover frozen yams and i don't like how they turned out, dressing, and i think that is it. still a lot of food.

bob went in earlier than his normal time and hopes to get home in a bit. this week of production is a bit different.

the days are flying so quickly. mom and sam leave soon and i will be very sad to see them go. it has been nice to have them here.

not much else today. it has been a lazy day and i have not gotten much done.

went on a nice walk with the dog today - beautiful weather, like spring. so odd at this time.

i am trying to keep in mind that this is the time that we celebrate God putting into motion a plan of sacrifice so we could be His again. must have been bittersweet - but then again the joy of knowing He was bringing reconciliation to us... makes me wonder what all went on in His thoughts. (remembering His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts.) i may never comprehend it, i am - well there are not words for the thankfulness i feel. i am a fortunate child.

hoping you come to know the reason for that sacrifice too.

Good Stuff Happening

evening all. i am hoping everyone is doing well.

today went pretty fast. got up earlier than normal. bob had some work to do on his car. please pray for him - there is so much for him to do and i think it gets a bit too much too often. he is such a good worker, but he says so many things are piling up. i wish i knew what to do to make some of it easier on him.

went and got him a few christmas things - yes we did open gifts already, but he and i have not shopped for each other yet so it was nice to pick up a few things.

mom got her nintendo ds game thing. she and sam have been playing on them all evening. challenging each other. they are awfully cute together. it is nice to have laughter and fun around during the day. the cats and dog can only provide so much humor and mostly spend the day sleeping.

i made mashed potatoes and my version of sweet potatoes, also the roast is done. i think the only things to make now are a veggie bowl and the turkey. should take most of tomorrow.
i cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms, also did laundry (mom is finishing it now). went to choir practice tonight, it was good - hard but good.

now i am pretty tired, and really feeling the day. it is good that feelings aren't reality, but they sure can effect us. i am pretty rough right now. thank you all for your prayers and kindness.
we have been getting christmas cards - i love hearing from people. i miss everyone so much and miss having a job to do that takes me out of the house. God will provide it, i just have to find the door to walk through.

well that is it for now. have a great night.

Stupid Rail Road Crossing Guard Thingies...

here i am once again.... leaving my happenings in space somewhere on/in the internet.....

so it is monday - i was going to make mashed potatoes but never got around to it. (i am trying to prep food for our christmas dinner on wed ahead of time... you know, like thanksgiving....) i have the dressing made. i am adding turkey (15LBS!!!!!), roast beef, mashed potatoes, yams, pumpkin pie, and some sort of veggie(s). i hope i can get it all done - not quite as motivated as last time.

today mom and i stacked up logs. bob cut up the limbs (that fell off the trees during the ice storm) and drug them to the back yard or maybe drug them to the back yard and then cut them up.... (what a task!!! i am overwhelmed just looking at the yard FILLED with stuff. it amazes me how robert deals with these things. it is the grace of God that operates in him...), and piled up the uncut limbs (i sure hope we made it better, i hate doing things to "help" bob and finding out he had a much better plan and i pretty much messed up the whole thing..... i'll learn, slowly i guess but i will learn.). then we went for a short walk - the wind got cold quick so we came back and put on coats, then it was still cold so we just came back.

sam got a nintendo ds for christmas (i think he bought it for himself...) and now mom wants one too. so we went looking for one. they were sold out at the store we checked, so tomorrow we will start a hunt for the item....

once we got home we put in mrs marple and watched two episodes. i really enjoy those shows. again thank you kathy and phil... great stuff.

while running around (driving around .....) we got stuck at a rail road crossing where there was nothing on the rails. no clue what set the thing off.... we just all got stuck there waiting to see - well something - (i was hoping for two men on a cart..... but it was not to be) so cars started to drive around the long stick thingies, under the red flashing lights, and drove over the tracks... we all broke the law... i am wondering if there was a fluke in the power, since there are still places without power. could have been anything i guess. interesting - we went a different way home. i wonder if it is still flashing now... guess i could get in the car and go see. probably won't tho.....

alright that is it for now. have a great night all.

Sunday Happenings

sunday - that is today. been a good day.

bob and i went to bed after 5am so it feels like there was no sleep, tho i slept hard. got up around 10 and got ready. then we headed out to a movie. it stunk so i will not tell anyone - not recommended if you do know what we saw... (cryptic huh??)

oh i guess we ate before we went to the movie...

came home and watched a dvd that sam got for christmas. lasted long enough to let me know i am VERY tired.

we may put in a mrs marple dvd and then hit the sack, or may just go to bed now....

let you know what we did tomorrow.

night.

Time Marches On

today - wow! i am pretty tired. went to get groceries today and it took me three hours. there are still stop lights out on the route i took, (and no one knows how to handle that here in ok) so i ended up with a very sluggish drive time. one of the stores i go to was still out of power, that means they have lost thousands of dollars in food and revenue. not a good thing.

most of our subdivision has power back now. strange, but there were houses right next to us that had no power two days longer than us. i think the whole area has it now, but there are still many areas waiting for it. the electric company estimate for having power back on is tuesday the 18th. that was pretty hard to hear on the 10th....

our christmas party was canceled tonight. can't say i am sad. just too much to get ready.

got our christmas package from family - great stuff. we are already snacking on the homemade cookies. thank you kb!!

drove out to the airport to pick up my fedex package that was supposed to get here yesterday.... that was quite a trip and once again, oklahoma drivers can't drive in this kind of weather, well in any weather actually.... it is raining and should be turning into snow later tonight and throughout tomorrow... we will see how that effects us all.

now we are home. bob is talking about going ice skating (he worked in the yard clearing the limbs and fixing the fence. also replaced the brakes on his car and sealed his radiator - busy guy. and the yard looks great!!!!) to help loosen his muscles so he can move tomorrow.

well, that is it for me. tomorrow my family gets into town and i am so excited!!!! can hardly wait.

night all.

Almost Forgot

alright for all of you still wondering what kind of bedding we finally went with. still no idea on wall colors. doesn't kaci look at home there?
this is one of the trees in the back yard covered with ice on monday dec 10th. now some of the limbs are missing. if we could just get the wood split and inside to dry out we would be able to keep the fireplace lit for a very long time....
here is the second tree in the back yard. it now is split in half. sustained quite a bit of damage and we wonder if it will live.
looking out the front door - i wasn't going outside.... this is our bushes and part of a tree that froze. it was so pretty....
damage done to our fence by trees in the side yard. none of the limbs fell on the roof. we thank God for keeping the house safe. so many homes have damage now.
here is the side yard. that limb is sitting on our fence.

bob has said we should have no problems putting the fence back up. cleanup should be interesting and i do wonder what we are going to do with all the stuff, but i am glad bob takes care of that stuff.
love to you all.

Almost Forgot

alright for all of you still wondering what kind of bedding we finally went with. still no idea on wall colors. doesn't kaci look at home there?
this is one of the trees in the back yard covered with ice on monday dec 10th. now some of the limbs are missing. if we could just get the wood split and inside to dry out we would be able to keep the fireplace lit for a very long time....
here is the second tree in the back yard. it now is split in half. sustained quite a bit of damage and we wonder if it will live.
looking out the front door - i wasn't going outside.... this is our bushes and part of a tree that froze. it was so pretty....
damage done to our fence by trees in the side yard. none of the limbs fell on the roof. we thank God for keeping the house safe. so many homes have damage now.
here is the side yard. that limb is sitting on our fence.

bob has said we should have no problems putting the fence back up. cleanup should be interesting and i do wonder what we are going to do with all the stuff, but i am glad bob takes care of that stuff.
love to you all.

Yes We Had An Ice Storm..

alright – I can’t get connected to the internet, but that is no reason not to write some stuff down. Why can’t I get connected? We had a huge – well huge is relative I suppose – ice storm. It hit Monday early. Somewhere in the darkness the power snapped off.

BUNNY TRAIL – there are so many people saying they would like to live in the days of when there was so much less modernism and it was a simpler time. Phooey on you. I love my heat and lights. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO READ BY CANDLELIGHT?????!! And forget about vacuuming the house for company – by the way my folks are coming here from 70 and 80* weather. It is kinda scary to think that there will be a 55* house waiting for them to come to. And the house needed to be cleaned everywhere. See I was sick the week before this storm and everyone knows the house doesn’t get taken care of like it should when ill… so I love my modern conveniences…

the house stayed fairly warm – the coldest was 55* and the only reason that got to me was because of the wet weather. (I really don’t like moisture accompanying heat or cold….) after prayer and thanking God for getting things back up and running, the power came on at 7am wed morning. I had just told bob that it might be a good idea to stay with friends that had offered. Good to not have to go anywhere.

Yesterday I cleaned up a bit. Dusted each room and vacuumed. Today I plan to do the kitchen and bathrooms. Then work on the arms of that couch.

Yes!!!! The arms are the last frontier. I have gotten the fabric on the couch and stapled in place. I want to do more with the back of the couch but need to see how much fabric I will have left after I fix the arms. Hope it is enough anyway. I have already prayed for wisdom and guidance as I do these arms. It is always much easier when I ask for help… imagine that..

I will not go into specifics on this next issue, what I am going to do is ask for prayer. There is a battle going on in my head, an issue I have had since I was a small child. I need to have an end to this issue. It is causing problems everywhere I look – whether they are real problems or not, I simply need to (simply is used loosely…. this is a struggle of decades..) stop thinking the way I do. Thank you.

And that folks it about it for now. Good day to you all ;).

ps. typed this in msword and that is why there are capital letters all over....

Great Day

here it is - sunday night. we are having an "ice storm". it has been raining off and on for about 24 hours and the temperature keeps dropping. (yes, mom, maybe even snow....) bob mentioned we may loose power tonight if the wind picks up - the lines are coated with ice.

we went to church this a.m. - the doors were stuck closed and the ice was pretty thick on the windows. took a bit of ice remover and some scraping to get it all off..

the service was good. pastor mike asked if we knew what real religion is. then pointed out when your words, attitude, and actions match up then you are showing the religion you believe. kinda scary isn't that? he also mentioned the verses in james about being quick to listen, slow to speak (meaning to not preach at or attempt to teach the other something even when pretending to be interested in the issue..), and slow to anger. good stuff. you can check out the podcast or video (video probably tomorrow or tue.) at this link . (just click your mouse on that blue word... on the page that comes up you have a choice of video or podcast, your choice..)

we had bratwurst and fries for lunch (yummie, that was good stuff.) and watched a movie. then slept for about 3 1/2 hours. THAT was good.... got up and watched another movie while snacking on jelly belly beans and werthers caramel chews. then bob went out and moved some things around in the garage so he could move the car in (hoping to make it easier to leave tomorrow... you know the ice stuff....). and here i am now typing. bob is playing a game or something on his computer. (we have his and hers.... lol)

i think it is time to see if there is anything in the fridge for supper and maybe another movie before heading to bed.

great day.

So Many Lies To Believe

There are SO many lies, and I don't know why I let myself believe them...

The Word of my Creator is clear - Good, in My Image and Likeness, Beautiful, Daughter, Mine, Gift (to Robert), After My Own Heart, One I Love, worth the Life My Son gave,

And WHY do I believe the lies?!

It is hard to look at those descriptions and believe when the lies have taken such hold.

God what will set me free??

A choice
To believe
And continually recite Who I AM and Whose I am.

Much Of The Same

hey all, today is saturday - the weekend. end of the week... not much to report (at least i don't think...)

finally got out of the house yesterday, it was the first day i have felt like i could do anything but hibernate. went for groceries with bob, the post office to mail christmas cards and a package to my in-laws, and the bank.

last night bob's christmas party for work got us out again. it was great. i was so tired i didn't think i was going to be able to go. but i put on my party face (lots of make-up basically...) and dressed up a little (always helps me think i am feeling better, tho does nothing more..). the party started at 7 and i expected to leave around 9. it was great to watch bob - he sure loves his co-workers. he is hilarious and i am taken back by how much fun they have at work. (makes me a little jealous - i get the quiet laid back guy recharging from all his antics at work. he tries to be fun around the house, but usually comes up against the tired and bored-so-nothing-will-make-her-happy me. okay, so seeing him have such a great time last night makes me stark-raving jealous. i wish i could camp out with him at work and experience this part of him. - don't get me wrong, he is a ham here at home too, i just spoil it so often. keep praying that my Father will help that area loosen up so we can continue enjoying the other's company more and more. God is so faithful, and He knew what we each needed. now if i will just let Him put it together and quit getting so stiff....) looked at the clock around 10 pm and the next time we looked it was midnight - successful party. bob and i both enjoy hanging with the guy that was throwing the party. when we left there were only four other people there, including the host. but i figured we should let him get to bed sooner or later....

today i have spent much of the day on the couch and making sure i am getting all the meds in so i can get done with this stuff - what ever it is.

on the couch - i have stitched the fabric together and stapled it to the couch. looks like it still needs fitting. HOWEVER - here comes the part i warned everyone about earlier - i have decided to rip all the stitching out (difference marked here - it is my decision instead of a great need to do this...) (and i double stitched it to make it strong....). recall, every project i have stitched has been ripped out more than one time, in fact i believe more time was spent ripping than stitching.... so i think i am going to take the pieces apart, and i believe i can simply (i say simply loosely..) staple the fabric over the separate pieces, making it fit better and look, well much better... then i need to finish the arms. i am planning to cut foam off the HUGE piece that is left and form it on the arms, then use batting to shape the arms. cover with fabric and bolt them back in place - should be done in the week. (HAS TO BE DONE IN THE WEEK SAM WILL NEED TO SLEEP ON IT IT SATURDAY....)

i am SO excited. and can hardly believe it is almost time for mom and sam to be here. they have sent snack foods already (and we ARE staying out of them, tho there is the 9/10ths of the law saying they are ours now, and the fact it is our name on shipping label...... just think about that....). bob and i still have to shop for each other, so there are only three gifts under the tree - and two tins of popcorn bob and i ordered from the cub scouts - or boy not sure which. (two were $40!!!!!!!!. !!!!!!!!! and they are NOT big....)

i may need to take the dog for a walk tonight, something short because i am still not up to full strength. wonder what that exercise would do for me - calm her down a bit maybe. who am i kidding, she already is a calm dog - just know she needs to get out.

on that note - sometimes i sure feel like i am not being a good owner. kaci doesn't complain so even when she wants to go outside she doesn't really act out. and my plan was to make sure she gets two walks a day. so much for the plan with me being sick. bob can't get her out twice, i am falling down on the job!!!! (it is okay folks, i will pick myself up and get back on the cart... or walk maybe, i mean...)

bob is working today - had to be at a basketball game (poor him.... tho he didn't really want to be gone.) i had a kind of invite, only i would not be anywhere close to him, which kills the desire to go. i like bb, but want to be with bob when i watch. i would never WANT to go by myself.... he sure loves the sport. ( i think he would like me to play it with him but he needs to be able to play and i don't think i would be able to dribble without looking at the ball)

alright all - i am going to go watch another dvd, or maybe i will go out in the cold, wet, weather..... i could wait for bob to come home and then we could walk and look at the christmas lights .... sounds good to me. let you know how it turns out later.

No One Noticed I Was Gone

hey all

i have been ill since around last wed. started to feel the real tired stuff and just didn't slow down at all. so i got hit sat night and then i think last night was the worst of it. i am cranking echineca, cough medicine, zycam, and anything else i can get my hands on. sleeping as much as i can, and i am "feasting" on the wonderful turkey broth bob put together from out thanksgiving leftovers. MMMMMM good.

guest room done except for some trim work and curtains. the office and our bedroom are growing in size as we put things into other rooms and organize stuff.

am not able to start the fabric part of the couch - not sure i could do much now anyway.

i am pretty tired so i will say goodnight. i am doing as little as possible right now, laundry takes all the effort i can put out. and i noticed i can be off line for DAYS and no one says anything..... not going to claim that is good OR bad for now.
night

Lots Going On

a lot happened today - but i am simply too tired to share.
will catch you up later.