I Am In A Group

i am in a group. i use these words, because being part of a group and being in a group are so very different. tonight i am reminded of what it feels like to not be important to a group. do you know and understand what it is like to be in a group and not part of a group?

i used to have a very influential position - i was the one LEADING a group of people. i remember how it felt to know all the others in the group, i tried to help others be part of the group. (i admit that i did not make everyone feel part. i am sure that there are people that felt on the outside trying to understand the dynamics of the group so they could be part...) there was power in being part of that group. tonight i am just a number again - only i am not allowed to offer anything, it is met with resistance from others in the group. they do not know what they are doing. they do not realize the hurt that is caused. i was important once.

i know this all reads rather depressingly, i just want to ask - do you make people feel they are part of the group or just a number? there are so many hurting souls just wanting to be important to SOMEONE.. (such a dangerous place for a person....) all around me i see - in the church too - women that are in a place of desperation. wanting to be important to someone, anyone. and when we only let them be a person in the group - we actually may push them into a situation that they should never have to face. look around you everyone needs a friend..

i don't know how to be a best friend. i say stupid things to people, and i misunderstand the importance of situations, and i can sure be short with another person - so i am not saying i have this down. i can pray, "Jesus, let me be the friend You want me to be to this person." i will not always get this right, or do the best thing.
i simply know and understand what it is to be in desperation - will anyone be my friend? i have been the one not caring if others in the group are a number or part of the group. and i know what it is to know someone in that group is desperate. God help me to not let that desperate one go without being known. God, forgive me where i have failed miserably, and help me offer mercy to those who don't know that i am the desperate one in the group.... so that You may be all that is seen