today's women's study was again the Lisa Bevere "Fight Like A Girl". topic - God is asking "Who's the Man?". the answer, Jesus. He is the only truly qualified, the only one to ever love us completely, the only one we can totally trust. God is described as a man, but He is not a man - Numbers 23:19 states that "God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind." God is so much more than a man or woman (for those who think He is a woman....) He is whole and complete, and so much more than us. His ways are not our, His thoughts are not ours, they are better. God is the only truth He cannot lie. what He says He will do He does. to become like Him we must spend time with Him. you know you become like those you are around. and if we want to have a satisfied life then we must spend time with God. seeing ourself through His eyes. claiming we are what He says we are.
Proverbs 29:25 "the fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe." Psalms 56: 11 "in God i trust, i will not be afraid. what can man do to me?" when we trust Him to be our provision, defender, healer, restoration, life..... then what can anyone really do to us? it may not be pleasant, but what can they truly do? Psalms 118:8 "it is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man." you can trust people, just don't trust IN them. there is no way they can meet your needs. and in this we can love fearlessly because God is our source of life. i can trust God and love my husband regardless if i have had fear of abandonment (YEP sure have lived with that torment....) great series.
and tonight was a great night. i kept my boss late chatting with her. she is such an encourager and knows the word of God. it is great to be reminded of how God looks at me. He is not an accuser or destroyer. He lovingly pulls me up short and tells me there are things needing to change for my good. that attitudes need to be given over so i can experience peace and prosperity. it is wonderful to work in a christian atmosphere. still human nature going on, but we know where our source is.
life is still rolling along. i am experiencing healing in my heart over the miscarriage and know that God will provide what i can not imagine. He is showing me how to let go of the past and not hold my husband accountable for perceived (and very real) wrongs done (who has not done wrong to their loved ones?????) and telling me to forgive myself for the mistakes - He says "quit bringing them up, i forgave them. you are the only one remembering them..." He is taking me through the actual process of healing. there have been some pretty scary moments and hard things to walk through, but God is faithful. He says i am blessed, my marriage is blessed, my husband is blessed. so i am excited to see how it will all go down.
please keep us in prayer when we are brought to your mind. simply ask God how to pray, He knows best.
love to you all
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Energized
i really like the contrasting colors. black on bottom and a bit on top. blonde throughout (alright so i have blonde in my hair, something i said i would NEVER do...) and then the red throughout. look closely so you can see it all....
not even sure why i am posting this pict. not very flattering... but i sure like the cut and color.today was a fine day. working on laundry most of the day. still doing it after work, but it will be nice to have fresh sheets and nothing in the basket - for at least an hour or two...
i got my hair cut and colored today. actually done in my home, and it was a great experience. i have included pictures of it. i of course think i look horrible - face but not the hair... - but love the cut and color. very cool. and it seemed to go over well at work. at least no one had to sit me down and tell me that i needed to change it back. (don't know if i could get the color out anyway..) i sure like it. liz did a great job. not sure what bob will say - yet...
work went well. very quickly actually. tho i had about 1/2 hour toward the end to spend doing what i wanted. soooo nice - i filed and checked the rooms. lovely evening.
well i think i am going to go and read for a bit. bob is not home yet so i will enjoy a bit of quiet - tho he really doesn't say much.... lol. so i am not in any way saying it gets noisy or anything after he gets home...
love to you all,
night.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Great Sleeping Day
today was a great sleeping day. i took back some movies that we rented friday and then came home and made pancakes with bacon. then read my book a bit and finally we went to a movie tonight.
nice sleepy day. now bob is challenging me with old music - seeing if i recognize the melodies. i sure remember the rock songs, but not much of the other types. he has an amazing ability to remember things.
i am looking forward to tomorrow. i sure enjoy my job and i am wanting to finish the task i was working on yesterday - yes i guess it was yesterday. weird to have friday off, work sat, and have sunday off. think i like it that way tho....
well i will say good night to you and hope all is well.
nice sleepy day. now bob is challenging me with old music - seeing if i recognize the melodies. i sure remember the rock songs, but not much of the other types. he has an amazing ability to remember things.
i am looking forward to tomorrow. i sure enjoy my job and i am wanting to finish the task i was working on yesterday - yes i guess it was yesterday. weird to have friday off, work sat, and have sunday off. think i like it that way tho....
well i will say good night to you and hope all is well.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Time, What Time?
wow - again time is flying by. i went to work (early i might add...) - it went by way to fast and i was unable to finish the task i had to perform (lucky for me i can finish it up on monday.) then i went to drop a cd off for a student - got lost going there and coming back.... groceries, fill tires up with air and get gas, come home. laundry (the cat could not wait for me to clean out the cat box, he had to go on the rug.... punk..), gather trash, something about supper (or was it lunch, i can no longer recall), run to sonic (bob wanted a flurry), i forgot my wallet so back home then back to sonic..., and finally off to church. SSOOOO i was saying the time flew by. i am actually looking forward to monday so i can finish that task i was working on.
now i am going to go and sit by a wonderful fire that my dazzling outdoors man husband is preparing and read on my book (his book, and only if he is reading too.... lol)
good night to you all. have a wonderful evening...
now i am going to go and sit by a wonderful fire that my dazzling outdoors man husband is preparing and read on my book (his book, and only if he is reading too.... lol)
good night to you all. have a wonderful evening...
Friday, January 25, 2008
Good Days And Getting Better
i am getting to be quite a "pro" at the "office". tonight went well, AND i am catching onto all the processes that need to happen each night. plus there is always something new to add. and i am loving it. what a great place to be working. God knew exactly what i needed - and it appears i was exactly what they needed. WOW!!! and that doesn't even begin to say it all.
today again went quickly. i painted my nails - finally got them done without any smears or crazy stuff on them.... (and it takes a long time to do nails...)
hmmm, not really anything else to say. oh i got the official "Fight Like A Girl" book. i am excited to get started reading it. i hope to catch up to where we are in the women's study. i am hoping to win the workbook off ebay too. and i set up a haircut appointment for tuesday. very excited about that... :)
love to you all, goodnight.
today again went quickly. i painted my nails - finally got them done without any smears or crazy stuff on them.... (and it takes a long time to do nails...)
hmmm, not really anything else to say. oh i got the official "Fight Like A Girl" book. i am excited to get started reading it. i hope to catch up to where we are in the women's study. i am hoping to win the workbook off ebay too. and i set up a haircut appointment for tuesday. very excited about that... :)
love to you all, goodnight.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Lots To Say Tonight
alright i have gotten through another wednesday.... lol. went to women's group this morning. it is such a breath of fresh air - i am throughly enjoying the teaching by lisa bevere - Fight Like A Girl. we are watching her on dvd and i have ordered her book AND am hoping to win her workbook on ebay.... lol.
k, the storyline - women are to be women and let men be men. simple huh? but with all the gender crossing and no role models it is quite difficult to distinguish what we women are supposed to be doing, and all too often we just feel like a problem. WELL since God never made problems (we can act like one tho...), we have to get the right outlook on who we are.
the first session was based out of knowing that men are not the enemy - they are the answer and our ally. we are their answer and ally. now hold on - don't get bent out of shape.... God working through each of us = answer to someone's problem. i.e. bob is the answer to what i need and i am the answer to what he needs - the compliment. apart we have such rough edges, together (unified in God) we compliment and are strengths. and that is just a PART of what she was talking on during the first session.
second session was about no longer disliking other women. there is a weird thing that happens with women, we get competitive and look at each other with jealousy and mistrust - they are a problem and often times we look to men instead of our fellow ladies. NOW, again before getting out of hand with this one. MOST of the time women are mistrusting of each other. a lot of us ACT like a problem instead of letting God use us to be the answer. i must admit i have felt more accepted by men than by women, but i am not called to have all these great relationships with men - i have one man to have a great relationship with (and that is hard enough in itself....). i am to be able to find companionship with women - somehow, still working on this one. it is often hard to relate to other ladies and for that i need God to work in me and through me. i don't like being flaky.
third session - was a focusing on how God made man and He made woman. this culture says that we need to get rid of gender because it causes such pain. 'if men would only be more feminine and women be more masculine... then all the pain would go away.' but you can not change the basic DNA of each individual. and when you try to change what you are at the center of your being there is confusion. it is vital to find what it means to be feminine - it DOES NOT MEAN manipulating, and to be masculine does NOT mean to be dominating. there is a place to come to that is center where there is balance, strength, perspective, truth, that connection with our Creator. and since He doesn't make mistakes - you are exactly who and what you were meant to be. now to find our place. the perfect plan - man was good, but he was alone. God brought him woman, AND he gave her expression. see man had a longing but he didn't have the way to express it. and God wanted man and woman. He separated the "parts" gave them both a voice and then He put them back together in one. (this is not to leave single, widowed, or divorced out there floundering - you are one with God. but once you marry God expects both parts to become one and get it together - iron sharpening iron kind of thing. and hard... lol) woman's part was to be connection. we connect people. there are responsibilities God made for us, not for man, to carry. we elevate life, helping to make things better. we make a home, a place for peace to dwell. and this is not about being devaluing a woman anywhere she is. this is not holding the woman back from making her way in the world, this is a simple statement that women are valued, vital, we are the answer to a question in another life.
virtue qualifies leaders, not gender. leading is not about gender. gender does not qualify us for anything, God does. men need women and women need men. no matter our skills and talents we need to realize that we aren't independent of each other - we are actually interdependent of each other. strengths and weaknesses. we are equal but NOT interchangeable. and our job, to build each other in love - this happens when each person does what they are made to do. as women we have to put off our hurts and bitterness and allow God to heal us.
k, the storyline - women are to be women and let men be men. simple huh? but with all the gender crossing and no role models it is quite difficult to distinguish what we women are supposed to be doing, and all too often we just feel like a problem. WELL since God never made problems (we can act like one tho...), we have to get the right outlook on who we are.
the first session was based out of knowing that men are not the enemy - they are the answer and our ally. we are their answer and ally. now hold on - don't get bent out of shape.... God working through each of us = answer to someone's problem. i.e. bob is the answer to what i need and i am the answer to what he needs - the compliment. apart we have such rough edges, together (unified in God) we compliment and are strengths. and that is just a PART of what she was talking on during the first session.
second session was about no longer disliking other women. there is a weird thing that happens with women, we get competitive and look at each other with jealousy and mistrust - they are a problem and often times we look to men instead of our fellow ladies. NOW, again before getting out of hand with this one. MOST of the time women are mistrusting of each other. a lot of us ACT like a problem instead of letting God use us to be the answer. i must admit i have felt more accepted by men than by women, but i am not called to have all these great relationships with men - i have one man to have a great relationship with (and that is hard enough in itself....). i am to be able to find companionship with women - somehow, still working on this one. it is often hard to relate to other ladies and for that i need God to work in me and through me. i don't like being flaky.
third session - was a focusing on how God made man and He made woman. this culture says that we need to get rid of gender because it causes such pain. 'if men would only be more feminine and women be more masculine... then all the pain would go away.' but you can not change the basic DNA of each individual. and when you try to change what you are at the center of your being there is confusion. it is vital to find what it means to be feminine - it DOES NOT MEAN manipulating, and to be masculine does NOT mean to be dominating. there is a place to come to that is center where there is balance, strength, perspective, truth, that connection with our Creator. and since He doesn't make mistakes - you are exactly who and what you were meant to be. now to find our place. the perfect plan - man was good, but he was alone. God brought him woman, AND he gave her expression. see man had a longing but he didn't have the way to express it. and God wanted man and woman. He separated the "parts" gave them both a voice and then He put them back together in one. (this is not to leave single, widowed, or divorced out there floundering - you are one with God. but once you marry God expects both parts to become one and get it together - iron sharpening iron kind of thing. and hard... lol) woman's part was to be connection. we connect people. there are responsibilities God made for us, not for man, to carry. we elevate life, helping to make things better. we make a home, a place for peace to dwell. and this is not about being devaluing a woman anywhere she is. this is not holding the woman back from making her way in the world, this is a simple statement that women are valued, vital, we are the answer to a question in another life.
virtue qualifies leaders, not gender. leading is not about gender. gender does not qualify us for anything, God does. men need women and women need men. no matter our skills and talents we need to realize that we aren't independent of each other - we are actually interdependent of each other. strengths and weaknesses. we are equal but NOT interchangeable. and our job, to build each other in love - this happens when each person does what they are made to do. as women we have to put off our hurts and bitterness and allow God to heal us.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Time - Friend or Foe?
alright, time seems to be DRAGGING along!!!! and yet i know it is the measure that God has put into place so i must not be irritated with the way it is spending.... there is a condition of "i want" that i am dealing in right now. i see this beautiful picture of happiness (mind you - happiness is only a state of mind. and only God can truly make a person happy in their circumstance. and with that i have pretty much voided anything else i want to say.... SHOOT!!!!)
so now that i have admitted that happiness only comes from God. and He has the ability to make ANY situation good by turning your heart where it needs to focus. i guess i have my answer too. (i was going to ask for any comments about how to find happiness in any given circumstance... wow i really have nothing to blog about.)
i know, i was chatting with a former boss this a.m. and realized that in my chatter i was seeing my actions in a proud way. saying how i was handling myself and i was saying that God was involved, but i really was not giving Him the full credit. and pride is a crummy thing to have working in ones life.
it is said over and over how humility and the humble (meek) are blessed and received. i often struggle with how well i think i am doing and handling things - by myself - and i must say, this situation i am going through, well i have stunk on many levels. (and this is not disparaging myself or thinking badly about myself - i just know i should not think more highly of myself than i am.)
human nature being what it is, there is no way to be good - purely good. motives sure play a big hand in all i do. if i think i am doing so well with this stuff it is not me. i have so often gone to God and told Him i hate what is being said to me, and i hate the person saying it, i am tired of being hurt and having my life turned upside down - i want what i want. that beautiful marriage with a spouse that is crazy about me and some great children. and with appearances being what they are right now, i am a mess.
God however is not surprised by anything that has happened in the past two months. He is sustaining me, and reminding me that i can not hold anyone accountable but myself. i am in charge of my reactions and the words that come out of my mouth. there is forgiveness for the past mistakes, but right now i must walk in His love and allow Him access to me and my heart.
only God is a sure thing - that He is faithful and will not leave me; only God can love me the way i should be loved; only God can provide me with strength to keep moving forward; only God, only God, ONLY GOD!!! and without Him i simply can not survive what is happening. so it is not me, because i wanted to give up the moment the words were spoken (well okay so i got really ticked off and fearful, but then as time moved on i just wanted to give up. all the pain and hurt, the disappointment....) BUT GOD DOESN'T FAIL - we do. if i give up i say that God is not able to move in my life, this marriage, anything. and so i keep holding on when i want to let go and just let things end. but God is faithful and He holds us, He moves us and He will complete what He started.
my life, my marriage, my future - it is in God's hands. He is quite capable.
so now that i have admitted that happiness only comes from God. and He has the ability to make ANY situation good by turning your heart where it needs to focus. i guess i have my answer too. (i was going to ask for any comments about how to find happiness in any given circumstance... wow i really have nothing to blog about.)
i know, i was chatting with a former boss this a.m. and realized that in my chatter i was seeing my actions in a proud way. saying how i was handling myself and i was saying that God was involved, but i really was not giving Him the full credit. and pride is a crummy thing to have working in ones life.
it is said over and over how humility and the humble (meek) are blessed and received. i often struggle with how well i think i am doing and handling things - by myself - and i must say, this situation i am going through, well i have stunk on many levels. (and this is not disparaging myself or thinking badly about myself - i just know i should not think more highly of myself than i am.)
human nature being what it is, there is no way to be good - purely good. motives sure play a big hand in all i do. if i think i am doing so well with this stuff it is not me. i have so often gone to God and told Him i hate what is being said to me, and i hate the person saying it, i am tired of being hurt and having my life turned upside down - i want what i want. that beautiful marriage with a spouse that is crazy about me and some great children. and with appearances being what they are right now, i am a mess.
God however is not surprised by anything that has happened in the past two months. He is sustaining me, and reminding me that i can not hold anyone accountable but myself. i am in charge of my reactions and the words that come out of my mouth. there is forgiveness for the past mistakes, but right now i must walk in His love and allow Him access to me and my heart.
only God is a sure thing - that He is faithful and will not leave me; only God can love me the way i should be loved; only God can provide me with strength to keep moving forward; only God, only God, ONLY GOD!!! and without Him i simply can not survive what is happening. so it is not me, because i wanted to give up the moment the words were spoken (well okay so i got really ticked off and fearful, but then as time moved on i just wanted to give up. all the pain and hurt, the disappointment....) BUT GOD DOESN'T FAIL - we do. if i give up i say that God is not able to move in my life, this marriage, anything. and so i keep holding on when i want to let go and just let things end. but God is faithful and He holds us, He moves us and He will complete what He started.
my life, my marriage, my future - it is in God's hands. He is quite capable.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
