Time Flies

wow time has flown.

it is february already, and 2010 at that - aren't we supposed to be flying around in space ships now? never did watch that movie..

i simply have to stop when i think about the time, the season. life moves quickly, and i knew that from a child i have heard time will fly yet it could not be realized.

i have been journeying on the path to become alright with being alone. i am feeling my way through the grief of a relationship and the knowledge that what i have is wonderful beyond my hope. i am still a girl wrestling with the need to become independent of one and dependent of Another. the balance of not needing to have a human man step in and do something i am quite capable of doing myself and relying on Him to provide what i need to stand on my own. this is by no means an easy journey, yet i find it rewarding. to become. i grieve and let go, grieve and let go, grieve and hold until i can place it in His hands. i find songs i did not know were there and i smile or cry, sometimes both. most importantly - i learn to be where i am, inviting the One who loves me to be with me. it is beautiful, and frightening.

'as i sit to write words for what is happening on my inside, i find i cannot pin what stirs within. so many waves wash over me there is barely time for a breath. will i always feel such depth - is this part of operation empathy, my training ground? i can't hold it all.
Jesus, hold me together. don't let me alone. in Your safe arms i find what is real, experience peace and You calm the hurricane.
You feel so deeply - how do You stand these depths? Obviously i'm not meant to carry the world on my shoulders.
speak to me, tell me what is in Your heart. how do You see the one out of the masses? what happens in Your heart? show me how to love just a little like You. help me not be alone in this path -i'm never alone, i wanna see it.
created. crafted. dedicated. planned. performed. all put together to be purposed for part of Your divine plan.
hold me in those strong, stable arms. close enough to hear Your heart and feel Your breath.' bl 2/2010