okay, more whirlwind. i believe the date was october 13th. a position opened at work for full-time days. i was given the option to take it or at least let them know what i would like to do. full-time has been swirling around for months, but nothing available or optional so i really thought it was not ever going to happen. my initial response was a no - i could not leave the evenings open. too much going on to not have a body there to troubleshoot what ever comes up. so i said 'no, i can't switch to days yes i do want the full-time hours.' i went home and began looking for the best way to get forty hours in one week, and be sure all the evenings and sat morning class would be covered. looked something like six days a week or four ten hour days (and where would we find someone wanting to work 9-12 m-th 9-3 fri and 9-1 sat - six days??). as i prayed it dropped in that days would be perfect. i would have evenings off, weekends off, opening opportunities to pursue friendships, schooling, church activity, even cooking supper... my heart tore about leaving the evenings with no replacement, but i was certain that the days would be the best course. i began a prayer for favour and realized that this road was being led by God and He had already given me favour. i went to my supervisor and told her what was going on. she passed the word onto the people that needed to know i was wanting the new position. so long story short - i am now the Oklahoma Wesleyan University Office Manager for our campus. i am thrilled with the benefit package provided and the options i get as a full time employee. God has far exceeded my desires for my job. i am stunned at how quickly it has happened and how wonderful the blessing of it all. i can fully take care of myself financially and have added wonderful benefits to our family. amazing.
i can continue a relationship with my wonderful supervisor (i have two at the moment until mon nov 3rd) and let it grow into friendship beyond where it is now. the opportunities at church have just blown open. and God has connected me in with people i have wanted to become friends with. i am very excited - just in case you have not gathered that.
every 'issue' i had with taking this evening reception job last january have been resolved. just amazing.
and to top it off - i made an agreement that God is honouring. He is seeing it through. i had no idea how to make it happen but according to the information i had rob and i in agreement, i gave my word that we would be doing something in 12 months. then it blew up and i thought it was lost, wondering how i was going to honour my word. and i see that God is honouring it. again WOW
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
What Do I Do Now?
it has been a whirl-wind weekend and i am still recovering. after that fantastic vision friday morning it seemed things just fell apart. i am so glad God is faithful and well, glad He is Who and What He is.... love beyond what i could hope for.
so the weekend went by and left me exhausted and torn apart.
sunday was a shower for a soon-to-be mom and it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. i was concerned about going because i am not really familiar with many people and i was tired and emotionally spent. even mom was unsure if it was the best place to go (i did not feel capable to even make a decision...) so i went and was welcomed, like visiting friends
then yesterday a position opened at work. i now have some options, only i am not exactly sure what to do. i have been seeking God on the best course of action. putting down the fearful thoughts that come with some of the choices. i think the hardest part is that i don't know what the options are - is it just a free for all where i can put out my requests and they will simply fill in the hours i don't work? or do i need to be able to work a schedule that is equally 'fair' for a new hire? and is that something i need to concern myself with?
if i had my pick??? take days, a 'normal' schedule so i could have interactions at church and socially that i crave? or keep on with the evening and messed up weekends because i am needed there and have made some 'friends' that i can't hang with or do more than say hi and have a good evening?... wow days are looking better already. but is it 'grass is greener on other side' and then reality hits?
would be obvious i need God's direction on this. just as He directed me to take this position in the first place, He can and will, AND desires to guide my steps in this decision. whatever leads away from peace and life is not of Him. this worry and concern is more than i can carry, Papa, let me hear You loud and clear so i can make the decision You want me to make. i surrender, help me stay there.
Proverbs 16:3 (Amplified Bible)
3Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed.
i use www.bible.com and www.biblegateway.com for references.
so the weekend went by and left me exhausted and torn apart.
sunday was a shower for a soon-to-be mom and it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. i was concerned about going because i am not really familiar with many people and i was tired and emotionally spent. even mom was unsure if it was the best place to go (i did not feel capable to even make a decision...) so i went and was welcomed, like visiting friends
then yesterday a position opened at work. i now have some options, only i am not exactly sure what to do. i have been seeking God on the best course of action. putting down the fearful thoughts that come with some of the choices. i think the hardest part is that i don't know what the options are - is it just a free for all where i can put out my requests and they will simply fill in the hours i don't work? or do i need to be able to work a schedule that is equally 'fair' for a new hire? and is that something i need to concern myself with?
if i had my pick??? take days, a 'normal' schedule so i could have interactions at church and socially that i crave? or keep on with the evening and messed up weekends because i am needed there and have made some 'friends' that i can't hang with or do more than say hi and have a good evening?... wow days are looking better already. but is it 'grass is greener on other side' and then reality hits?
would be obvious i need God's direction on this. just as He directed me to take this position in the first place, He can and will, AND desires to guide my steps in this decision. whatever leads away from peace and life is not of Him. this worry and concern is more than i can carry, Papa, let me hear You loud and clear so i can make the decision You want me to make. i surrender, help me stay there.
Proverbs 16:3 (Amplified Bible)
3Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed.
i use www.bible.com and www.biblegateway.com for references.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
A Vision
late at night, maybe early morning. on my knees crying out - 'be real. You told me You could be more real than the people around me. that Your love is enough. show me what You can be! show this broken woman what You can be...'
a whip flashes across the scene, striking flesh. 'I want her.'
flesh ripping, anguish and torment crosses the features. 'I want her.'
more flashes of a gruesome whip with torturous flesh-grabbing pieces on the ends, thrashing at skin down to bone. 'she is Mine.'
a steak being driven through feet.
His hand curling around the steak driven into it, a simple reaction to the metal driven through muscle into the flesh and bone. with each pounding He sees my anguished face, full of fear and brokenness.
my face with each agonizing strike. 'this is for her.' His resolve and determination to continue, more than i could ever know.
i see the whip striking over and over tearing flesh off His bones, i hear the metal pounding on the steak, i see the thorns breaking through skin and lodging in His brow. His eyes glazing over, and i know that what He sees is my face.
the knowledge - i almost hear Him, His voice strong, yell at each blow He receives 'she is Mine. this is all for her. I give all I am for her.' nothing is held back.
He took humiliation.
torment.
pain.
brokenness.
torture.
brutality so vivid in this vision.
i feel Him wince. He takes all.
all so He could have me. 'I want her as My own.'
i tell you, no one has ever wanted me like this Man.
flash forward. i see moments of torment in my own life. hurts, blows, shame dealt me by an enemy out to destroy all i am and could ever be. and in the midst of each event i hear: 'she is Mine! you can not have her.' i know it is the Man that gave everything to have me as His own.
flash to the moments of despair 'SHE IS MINE. YOU WILL NOT HAVE HER.' times of great emptiness 'no, this will not interfere, she is Mine and I will have her.' i have never known a protector such as this Man fighting for me in each place of despair He will not leave me.
all the times i have cried out 'where are You!!!! You promised never to leave me. where are You. i am here alone! WHERE ARE YOU!!!'
i see the answer tonight in my vision: He is there in each circumstance 'try as you will, you will not have her. she is Mine. I gave all so I could have her.'
my enemy holds nothing. his cards were all played and my Savior rescued me. each event happened. each one left the wound, one compounding another. yet my Protector took it all long before i would so that He could destroy my enemy and claim me as His very own. i saw the horror He went through in vivid, live detail. it all began with His determination through what appeared to be His destruction 'i want her. i will give all for her.'
a whip flashes across the scene, striking flesh. 'I want her.'
flesh ripping, anguish and torment crosses the features. 'I want her.'
more flashes of a gruesome whip with torturous flesh-grabbing pieces on the ends, thrashing at skin down to bone. 'she is Mine.'
a steak being driven through feet.
His hand curling around the steak driven into it, a simple reaction to the metal driven through muscle into the flesh and bone. with each pounding He sees my anguished face, full of fear and brokenness.
my face with each agonizing strike. 'this is for her.' His resolve and determination to continue, more than i could ever know.
i see the whip striking over and over tearing flesh off His bones, i hear the metal pounding on the steak, i see the thorns breaking through skin and lodging in His brow. His eyes glazing over, and i know that what He sees is my face.
the knowledge - i almost hear Him, His voice strong, yell at each blow He receives 'she is Mine. this is all for her. I give all I am for her.' nothing is held back.
He took humiliation.
torment.
pain.
brokenness.
torture.
brutality so vivid in this vision.
i feel Him wince. He takes all.
all so He could have me. 'I want her as My own.'
i tell you, no one has ever wanted me like this Man.
flash forward. i see moments of torment in my own life. hurts, blows, shame dealt me by an enemy out to destroy all i am and could ever be. and in the midst of each event i hear: 'she is Mine! you can not have her.' i know it is the Man that gave everything to have me as His own.
flash to the moments of despair 'SHE IS MINE. YOU WILL NOT HAVE HER.' times of great emptiness 'no, this will not interfere, she is Mine and I will have her.' i have never known a protector such as this Man fighting for me in each place of despair He will not leave me.
all the times i have cried out 'where are You!!!! You promised never to leave me. where are You. i am here alone! WHERE ARE YOU!!!'
i see the answer tonight in my vision: He is there in each circumstance 'try as you will, you will not have her. she is Mine. I gave all so I could have her.'
my enemy holds nothing. his cards were all played and my Savior rescued me. each event happened. each one left the wound, one compounding another. yet my Protector took it all long before i would so that He could destroy my enemy and claim me as His very own. i saw the horror He went through in vivid, live detail. it all began with His determination through what appeared to be His destruction 'i want her. i will give all for her.'
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
And Here We Are Again
I GOT MY PHONE!!!! i am so excited. and trying to learn it all. there are a lot of features, most i can not use yet because i have no pda package - just too darn expensive right now.
this past weekend was a blast. i took off saturday so rob and i could attend an investing seminar. we thoroughly enjoyed it and will be pursing the education this next year. i am already praying that God will show us the route to pursue and help us get everything into place in the next 12 months, according to His will.
we went to the haunted castle in muskogee. AND HAD A BLAST. i asked rob what his favourite part was and he said 'do i have to pick one?'. i then knew he had a great time too. :) we got a two fer one to the renaissance festival. likewise when we go to the festival we will have the opportunity to get a two fer one to the haunted castle. see a pattern here?....
and i did not have to work or go in at all this weekend to work. i am so happy.
rob and i really had a great weekend together. seems that God is doing a wonderful thing with us, and i am learning to just let go and trust that God wants it more than i do.
have a wonderful....
this past weekend was a blast. i took off saturday so rob and i could attend an investing seminar. we thoroughly enjoyed it and will be pursing the education this next year. i am already praying that God will show us the route to pursue and help us get everything into place in the next 12 months, according to His will.
we went to the haunted castle in muskogee. AND HAD A BLAST. i asked rob what his favourite part was and he said 'do i have to pick one?'. i then knew he had a great time too. :) we got a two fer one to the renaissance festival. likewise when we go to the festival we will have the opportunity to get a two fer one to the haunted castle. see a pattern here?....
and i did not have to work or go in at all this weekend to work. i am so happy.
rob and i really had a great weekend together. seems that God is doing a wonderful thing with us, and i am learning to just let go and trust that God wants it more than i do.
have a wonderful....
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Wow All That - Amazing
already a full week and i am unsure where to start with all that has happened and been going on..
state fair friday night.
saturday was full with work and... well i guess i don't remember much else from sat night. we stayed in and had pizza with movie i think.
sunday - went to second service. home, headed out to Fireproof movie. (man just watching the trailer chokes me up every time.) it was sold out and we had a prior engagement at the next showing plus early morning so we headed home for an hour or so. went to supper for a going away party. that sure was enjoyable to be around all the people. got to check out the palm treo 680 that a few of the folks had and that sealed me wanting one (see So Excited And I Just Can't Hide It.)
monday - work and came home to find one of the dogs had been pretty sick (or maybe it happened before i left for work, can't remember exactly.) rob was home before me (yeah!! he likes his new schedule).
tuesday - rob's break lines went out and so there was a lot of running around to get estimates and then parts with one vehicle it was pretty time consuming and he ended up staying at work until picking me up around 10pm. somehow with all that i still made it to work early and boy was it a FULL night. came home and cleaned up kaci's sick mess ALL OVER THE HOUSE (okay just the floors, but it was pretty overwhelming. i was so glad rob was here because i was still pinging from such a hectic work night. i had to just stop and breath, then i steam cleaned about an hour.)
wednesday - early morning, took rob to work. came home and have been monitoring the dog most of the day. she is outside now. still pretty sick.
i have to get ready for work soon because this is my 'early' day and i can never seem to get there until 10 min after i should be there. soooo wish me luck.
this weekend: Fireproof movie (just in case you did not get enough, click here.)
hoping to get to the Haunted House in Muskogee, Ok. then a two-day seminar saturday and sunday. (glad for saturday evening services...) then back to work... wow, i may be tired already.
later.
state fair friday night.
saturday was full with work and... well i guess i don't remember much else from sat night. we stayed in and had pizza with movie i think.
sunday - went to second service. home, headed out to Fireproof movie. (man just watching the trailer chokes me up every time.) it was sold out and we had a prior engagement at the next showing plus early morning so we headed home for an hour or so. went to supper for a going away party. that sure was enjoyable to be around all the people. got to check out the palm treo 680 that a few of the folks had and that sealed me wanting one (see So Excited And I Just Can't Hide It.)
monday - work and came home to find one of the dogs had been pretty sick (or maybe it happened before i left for work, can't remember exactly.) rob was home before me (yeah!! he likes his new schedule).
tuesday - rob's break lines went out and so there was a lot of running around to get estimates and then parts with one vehicle it was pretty time consuming and he ended up staying at work until picking me up around 10pm. somehow with all that i still made it to work early and boy was it a FULL night. came home and cleaned up kaci's sick mess ALL OVER THE HOUSE (okay just the floors, but it was pretty overwhelming. i was so glad rob was here because i was still pinging from such a hectic work night. i had to just stop and breath, then i steam cleaned about an hour.)
wednesday - early morning, took rob to work. came home and have been monitoring the dog most of the day. she is outside now. still pretty sick.
i have to get ready for work soon because this is my 'early' day and i can never seem to get there until 10 min after i should be there. soooo wish me luck.
this weekend: Fireproof movie (just in case you did not get enough, click here.)
hoping to get to the Haunted House in Muskogee, Ok. then a two-day seminar saturday and sunday. (glad for saturday evening services...) then back to work... wow, i may be tired already.
later.
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