Why I Don't Like Other Women.... Shocked Me

i was asked the other day if i left my femininity behind. and there must have been a reason for this gal to ask me that question...
yes, strange question. i am not sure what the conversation was, to lead to that question.

(don't you see how cute i am? my hair is styled and my make-up - well yes, it is very subtle today.... - ? i know i am in my workout clothes, but i am planning on hitting the gym in a few hours....)

'no, i don't think so. i like to style my hair and fix my make-up. i love to dress and go out. i really like the attention..' (and that is another conversation...)

then, when i went to the bathroom later i was shocked by the appearance i was giving off. hair all over the place. looked like i had no make-up at all, all blotchy and plain. and 'comfortably dressed for the gym' flew out the window. i looked horrible, well definitely not 'hot' like i had thought.

a little later, while driving around doing errands, it hit me - yes, i truly don't like women. because.... they are weak. hmm well that hit me square in the face. i used to think it was because they were jealous, gossipy, humans. but truly it is because they are 'weak'. i have been attracted to the hollywood version of women being strong. trinity from matrix, laura croft from tomb raider, any showing of a woman that can knock down opposition and not get knocked around to much herself, if at all.

i found passages in the bible that said women were weak (and boy have i found out a lot about those few words since then). i took a few words and built a belief system about women. and those words have nothing to do with the passage and whether a woman is good or bad or has wonderful capabilities.

situations throughout my life were used by the enemy to enforce the idea that being a woman was bad. men were strong and could take care of situations/themself. it was bad to be a woman. so i did all i could to make myself seem strong - strong/controlling personality, weightlifting, like what boys liked (cars, outdoor activity...). i have a slight tendency to enjoy aspects of those subjects, but no real inclination to pursue them. i didn't do sports but wanted to sound like i did, don't care about the workings of a car, but sure enjoy the look and drive of them.. etc.

what is the end of this story? what have i learned from my Creator?

not sure yet. i have not taken the time to get an answer to this upsetting realization. still a bit thrown off by it all. so you will have to stay tuned to find out - why women are great and being friends with them is beneficial.
i know we have wonderful abilities and are great together - otherwise God would not have created us and the enemy would not see fit to wreck our relations with one another, twisting our view of other women. so here i go on another discovery mission that can only be answered by the One who created each woman...