So Excited And I Just Can't Hide It

here is my soon to be 'new' toy -



and the toys that come with it...

tow sync ports power adapter and usb cable
two car chargers - just in case...

the box.. :)


so excited about this phone. i have been searching, researching, asking around, discussing with my favourite man. and together we came to the decision on this one. yeah!!

hope to have more details later. bfn.

Some Highlights

well it would appear that time has again flown by and i am unsure of exactly what i have been up to..
i took some scissors and chopped on my hair a bit (finally there are styles that call for choppy looking hair :).) still needs shaped up..
kaiser and the house hold are getting used to one another. dude is still a bit apprehensive, but that too will subside..
went to the tulsa state fair last yesterday. that was enjoyable. long day there, lots of expensive food, no rides because they were too expensive - tried a bungee cord ride but could not complete it because of a previous shoulder injury. BUMBED, i was going to try a flip but hurt my shoulder causing it to throb in pain for the remainder of the day. saw cows, chickens, ducks, roosters, and other fowl. it was great. i would love to have gone again today, but we are both pretty wiped out. and rob worked on the yard all day and wiped himself out.
bought a tile cutter and hole saws - fantastic tools. so i am looking forward to redoing our bathroom and kitchen stuff, we have great tools for it :).
i may be getting over a cold of some sort. tried to get me down, but somehow it never settled. God is gracious.
so, i am trying to make this quick because rob and i may be going to watch a movie. later.

The Journey

a little bit about this journey.

i started this blog with just stuff going on around the house. then moved into combating my emotional stuff with scripture. then acknowledging that emotions show us what is going on in us and were placed there by God (even He has them). i then moved onto acknowledging the emotion but asking God for the truth of the situation (still a huge learning curve). and am sitting there in that place. but this journey has been amazing. hardest thing to be in, and not nearly as fast as i wanted it to be. however - (and i think it might be worth all the pain, but am still reviewing that...) instead of a constant reaction from what i feel, i am beginning to react from the truth of what He says. it is still a bit out there for me but i guess balance is settling into place slowly.

thank you for joining me on this journey. hope it has been a little entertaining and done some good for you too.

Why I Don't Like Other Women.... Shocked Me

i was asked the other day if i left my femininity behind. and there must have been a reason for this gal to ask me that question...
yes, strange question. i am not sure what the conversation was, to lead to that question.

(don't you see how cute i am? my hair is styled and my make-up - well yes, it is very subtle today.... - ? i know i am in my workout clothes, but i am planning on hitting the gym in a few hours....)

'no, i don't think so. i like to style my hair and fix my make-up. i love to dress and go out. i really like the attention..' (and that is another conversation...)

then, when i went to the bathroom later i was shocked by the appearance i was giving off. hair all over the place. looked like i had no make-up at all, all blotchy and plain. and 'comfortably dressed for the gym' flew out the window. i looked horrible, well definitely not 'hot' like i had thought.

a little later, while driving around doing errands, it hit me - yes, i truly don't like women. because.... they are weak. hmm well that hit me square in the face. i used to think it was because they were jealous, gossipy, humans. but truly it is because they are 'weak'. i have been attracted to the hollywood version of women being strong. trinity from matrix, laura croft from tomb raider, any showing of a woman that can knock down opposition and not get knocked around to much herself, if at all.

i found passages in the bible that said women were weak (and boy have i found out a lot about those few words since then). i took a few words and built a belief system about women. and those words have nothing to do with the passage and whether a woman is good or bad or has wonderful capabilities.

situations throughout my life were used by the enemy to enforce the idea that being a woman was bad. men were strong and could take care of situations/themself. it was bad to be a woman. so i did all i could to make myself seem strong - strong/controlling personality, weightlifting, like what boys liked (cars, outdoor activity...). i have a slight tendency to enjoy aspects of those subjects, but no real inclination to pursue them. i didn't do sports but wanted to sound like i did, don't care about the workings of a car, but sure enjoy the look and drive of them.. etc.

what is the end of this story? what have i learned from my Creator?

not sure yet. i have not taken the time to get an answer to this upsetting realization. still a bit thrown off by it all. so you will have to stay tuned to find out - why women are great and being friends with them is beneficial.
i know we have wonderful abilities and are great together - otherwise God would not have created us and the enemy would not see fit to wreck our relations with one another, twisting our view of other women. so here i go on another discovery mission that can only be answered by the One who created each woman...

This Is My Saturday

today was long and full. busy morning at work with a faculty meeting and tons of paperwork to do. my filing box is stacked pretty high and i can't seem to get to it. AND today i realized that i am going to a motivation seminar monday - i have to be at work by 7.30 am. that means that i will be working from 7.30 until after 10pm. and i thought the meeting would be great. hmm should be a great week...
so there was a faculty meeting and lots to do at my desk, and all of a sudden it was 12.30 and all the classes were done, which means i have to clean up and leave, whether i am done or not. so i rushed to clean up the remainder of my desk - because ... i will be late getting to work anyway monday and it will be a full night of work so i don't want to 'add' anything to it..
after the work stuff i rushed to meet a friend for a movie - 'the family that preys' good but a stiff ending and i am not sure i liked the way everything resolved. then hung at friend's home for a while. rushed home, let the dogs out, cleaned up a few messes (including me) and rushed to church for greeter post.
now, supper and a movie. i plan to stay up as late as possible so i can sleep as late as possible.
rob is out of town this weekend and will be home tomorrow ...um not sure when, but sometime. i have missed him and look forward to him getting home.
so goodnight to you all and a happy evening.
p.s. kaiser is the bomb of a dog :) and kaci is pretty neat too. oh and dude is the coolest cat, but then so is bernice. i love our family ;).
pss - mom, is the pict better now?? (this is dude malnourished with worms.. but quite the playful thing, before we got him all better)
ppss (hehe). i prayed this little one back from certain death - God sure takes care of my concerns.

Look At All I Got Done Already..

today has been busy!!
rob left for a job this weekend around 6a.m. i slept in and got up around 9. put dogs out, fed them, then let them out again. bathed them, let them out again. cleaned up the living room and bedroom. started laundry. let them out again and they stayed out while i made a pasta dish with veggie sauce (yumm!!!) and stir fry veggies for a side dish, or main dish depending on whether i want to cook something with it.. let the dogs in and out during that time. sat down for lunch (changing laundry somewhere in there too, oh and folded it putting it away too.) and turned on the 3rd instalment of lord of the rings. now i am posting my blog and it is 1:34 pm. thinking about whether i will really have to go to the store or not today and wondering which blockbuster has 'gone with the wind' and 'scarlet'. that is going to be my splurge for this weekend. oh and i suppose i should pay bills today...
so on that note, later.

Ketchup

i am experiencing sleep deprivation - well what i would call sleep deprivation. i am sssssooooo tired. kaiser feels he needs to get us up starting around 4.30 - 5 am. he puts his face right in mine and whines (tall animal). i roll over and say 'bob, he is whining.' rob gets up and lets him out. and it is fantastic. (rob has this wonderful ability to get up and come back to bed and fall right back to sleep. i have no idea how he does this. i can tell him the dog needs out and sorta fall back to sleep... but if i were to get up, well mise well get up.)
kaiser is still not sure where he is to go to the bathroom. tonight i left him in our bathroom with the hope that there would be no mess to clean up. i am asking for a rather large kennel that we can put him in at night or when we go off to work until he is trained for out door bathroom needs. at least my carpet is getting steam cleaned thoroughly.
he is learning a lot. he obeys wonderfully and is learning the tasks throughout the day. what a great dog.
yesterday i did a 'running' workout. today i am pretty sore but sure am excited about what i accomplished. tonight i will go home and do my yoga/pilates workout to stretch and get movement back into achy muscles. since i have been using this stretching workout i have greater movement in my left shoulder (it has been limited in motion for some time now). not what i would like but better than it has been.
hey hope you are having a wonderful day.

Sitting At Work Wondering

i am sitting here at work. sitting because the computer network is slower than slow. there is no getting anything done and i am now highly aware that there are two dogs at home and no one to be in charge. i am thinking about the mess from this morning and hoping (alright desparing) that there will not be a big mess waiting for me at home.
there is this little thought however: i asked God that if we took kaiser, He would give me what would be needed, in every area. finances, grace and mercy, to care for the animal and provide what he would need, and what we would need. patience to clean up after hom and take care of him.
so what i need to do is pull together my thoughts and give them to Him. He is so good at showing me how to structor my time and get done what is needed. He also grants peace to me in the midst of the chaos. He is so good. AND He wants kaiser cared for. me too, He wants me to be cared for and not be weighed down by responsibility. He has made my path straight, and the load i carry to be light in weight, He actually wants to carry it for me while i rest and find peace in Him. i have a job to do, and He enables me to do it.
i am so glad to have kaiser as part of our family. i am blessed to have kaci, dude, and bernice. i am blessed to have rob here too. God gives me exactly what is needed to care for all these blessings, including myself.
have a great night.

First Night

well this morning started earlier than i hoped it would. kept hearing a small whine from the other side of our bedroom. so i got myself out of bed, went to the bathroom (first things first..) and stepped out into the living room. the dogs were so happy to see me. kaci came from the direction of the computer room and kaiser was right there in the hallway. i turned to the right and was greeted by my first wake-up shock - the living room was full of dog poop.
alright - not full, but every room had a present. (and it was BIG poop) i saw the first gift of my morning and immediately let the dogs outside, had to carefully choose my way through as i was greeted with several more surprises.
one room had some dirrehea the computer had just had a visit, and the living room had several piles (how did he hold in that much stuff, we let him out at least four times before bed...) needless to say, i was happy i did not steam clean on friday.
so i steam cleaned this morning with my already sore muscles and spoke lovingly to the dogs. (the cats are still hiding from our new guest) then i showered and prepared to do some yoga/pilates just to loosen my already sore muscles and get some stretch back into my arms. i have misplaced my dvd, so the 40 minute workout took me about 15 min, still trying to figure this out because i think i did all the exercises.... and i am not feeling quite as well as i usually do after this workout.
all in all a very good night. it will take a few days to get a schedule set. and my main priority is to let kaiser know he is loved and welcome here no matter what.
strangely, as i was loading the dishwasher (so i had an empty sink for the steam cleaner water..) it hit me that God has had to clean up a lot of my messes too. that throughout life i have had my share of really dirty messes and He has somehow brought good out of them also. it was just such a striking, funny thought that i had to laugh out loud and then i moaned just because of the embarrassment of what God has come into where i was concerned and how He got me to a better place. He truly comes into our filthy life and loves us out of it all. what a wonderful relationship He gives to us.
have a great day all.

Our New Guest/Family

we have just brought a new guest/family member into our home. one of our destiny church members is heading off to paris tomorrow. he was looking for a great home for one of his best friends. so kaiser has come to join our happy family. looks like a wonderful add. he and kaci ran around the house checking things out (yes, even kaci checked stuff out). and a match is found.

so with out further ado - here is kaiser our new german shepherd
kaiser looking off toward the outdoors

he and kaci are in the upper part of the picture, i know it is hard to see but they are there - where's waldo??

kaci seems to be fine with it all

kaiser in shadow (actually looking around the house for his bestest friend - mocha

still searching. it is going to take a few days. mocha raised him from a 6 week-old. they are great pals.

kaiser we are so glad to have you here with us.

such an exciting and heart wrenching situation. mocha is off on a grand adventure trusting God to take him where he is supposed to go. and so tough to say good-bye to all the familiar and loved places/friends.

we are so glad to be part of this somehow.

Back To The Ol' Grind..

woohoo, i am now the proud owner of a gym membership at the Y. very excited because it has been almost 2 years since i was working out regularly. today was my first 30 minute cardio session and i did well. was tired all day, the exercise did not stimulate me, but i did it!! and i loved it.
i am going to rediscover the power of music on my workout - i find i need a quick beat to match movement to, and it keeps me pumped the entire workout.
i watched the cosby show and laughed a lot. forgot how funny that show is.
i kept up with the guy on the elliptical beside me, and he was in better shape than i feel, so i am pretty proud of my ability today.
now that i have bragged i will go to bed 'cuz i am wiped out :).
night