WOOHOO

tomorrow our mortgage is due - that is usually a LOT of money. (actually it IS a lot of money, not usually...) we had a little over $2 in the checking and nothing to pull from. $2.84 to be exact.....

anyway, i was to get paid today. only getting my pay and getting it deposited in time - did i mention i had already put the mortgage check in the mail yesterday believing that all would be provided (that is the key as you will see in a moment.). covering it was going to be a tricky thing. but i knew that i was to put the mortgage check in the mail, God would provide.

i called work to see if my pay would be brought from bartlesville in the campus mail, or how it would be handled. (i never thought to check on this before of course...) my paycheck was still sitting in bartlesville - about an hour away. mailing it would take FOREVER, even bringing it down in the campus mail i would not be able to get it until monday. still i held on - God would take care of it, even if it meant slowing the mail to kentucky down. (the mortgage payment goes there i think.) i spoke to human resource on the phone, she said she would track it down and see what could be done.

i began to praise God for His mercy and favor, thanking Him that it is available forever more. i was quite nervous - heck i was scared. what happens when the mortgage check comes in and the payment is not there...... and so i praised Him anyway. almost as soon as i started to sing the phone rang and i got the news that the check would come in the campus mail for tomorrow. i got on my knees to continue praising God and the phone rang a second time. she told me my paycheck was already deposited into my account.

WOW - now ain't that something.

5 Trust the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths smooth.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (God's Word)

the check will clear no penalties. and there was an extra bonus in the checking account, money i did not even expect from a source i forgot about. God is good. and it all came together perfect timing. God is neither early, nor is He late in His work.

God IS my provider. WOOHOO!!!!

HMMMM

again WOW - God is so kind. last week i was slotted to fill in for a member of the wed morning bible study worship team. God yanked me up short and told me i was using that wonderful talent to get attention. not using it as He wanted - to give Him glory and put a smile on His face. (i love that using what He gave me puts a smile on His face... ).

i was pegged, He is always correct when it comes to the motives in my heart. i asked Him to clear my heart out and forgive me for being so ridiculous, and selfish with my motive. He told me to go and let the leader know i would not be able to fill in. WELL long story very short, God allowed me to sing. (i know this can really seem hokey, but bear with me.) He rewarded me. AMAZING how He does things. i really don't want to bring attention to myself and He is changing the motives in my heart. He is so faithful to do what He promises. when i submit to His work and His word i get the benefit and am able to change. so i am enjoying being a filler on the team when there is a need. also learning how to follow and blend - strange to have to focus so on what tones are coming out of my vocals.

anywho...

today was an amazing bible study again.

hold on a sec. i really want to take a moment out and say that this is real stuff. God has been faithful when i was not, He has begun the process of showing me the value He places in me. He is changing thought processes and the way i see life situations. can i tell you - those who don't already know - if you looked in at where things are at with us you would think this is a pretty stinky place to be. that things look pretty hopeless. BUT since i do not have to look at how i see things, and since there are wonderful promises from God - never leaving me or forsaking me even when all others do; promise to always provide for me, to help me see past my understanding and to prosper me. I CAN'T POSSIBLY BE DESTROYED, even when it looks scary. i MUST give a shout to Him - He is the best thing to ever happen to me.

and now i don't even know how to go on from that..... guess i will take a moment.

k.

today's title : God's idea is: two with one heart. (beautiful isn't it..)
she says the dynamics of love, respect, protection, and honor are more than just keys to successful marriages and relationships, they are timeless principles to restore what has been lost. God gave us dominion over the earth and all the fullness there in. nature is waiting for us to take back dominion. with the fall of man - dominion became domination, order became chaos/disorder, multiplication became division. dominion is ruling power, authority or control. it is influence over an area and governed by a person or an entity. it is given for the benefit of everyone under its care - not for the one with the authority. God blessed man and woman, meaning He gave them (us) everything we need to flourish. i.e. when we walk in that authority even tho there is not enough "material" to make something happen somehow it is multiplied, more than enough. but when we walk outside of what God is doing, tho we have all at our disposal it still can not accomplish what we are trying to do.

we are to produce seeds. everything we do is a seed. our words carry life or death, they can add to a person's life or take away. God is big on the seed principle. planting and harvesting. God blessed man and woman TOGETHER, together there was no lack or weakness. because of the fall of man we have to work for our seeds to flourish. we have to take dominion over the weeds now, unfortunately we do not do that. dominion/authority.

authority is given to SERVE those under our care. mothers are to create an atmosphere for the children to flourish - better than what we had. it is given to us for their benefit, not the parent's benefit. and it is shared between husband and wife, each having a perspective needed by the other. the woman is the heart of the house and the man is the counsel of the house. someone that takes good counsel will be a good authority. adam had seed, but without eve he had no where to plant it. she gave him life and legacy. the woman builds the man. (telling him great job, for lack of more eloquent wording...) men are about positioning things. women connect what has been positioned. adam named the animals - men have the ability to call us something (lovely, supportive, beloved). this actually makes us want to be what they call us, especially before they find anything to the contrary... we can choose to become those things that are of value. their words cause our lives to flourish. a woman has the ability to enlarge her husband's heart. (hang on for a second here.... especially if you don't feel that this is happening or a possibility...)

men are leaders, doing life with their wives (nothing like hearing him say how he needs you to be with him in life...). authority figures that tend to demand things from those under them rob themselves of the best of that person's gift. a man that demands submission robs the wife of her dignity of choice to GIVE him submission (gentle assistance, as an example. not a beaten woman. gentle assistance is so much nicer - think about how you want someone to treat you. do you like the rough and belligerent person or a kind smile with the purpose of helping you accomplish something??). you can tell a dominated person - they are shrunk. only a shadow of what they were. men should not misuse their authority nor should a woman misuse her influence. if this is taking place there will be conflict and the children will be broken hearted.

FOR THOSE NOT FEELING LIKE THEY ARE GETTING THE WONDERFUL ATMOSPHERE FROM THEIR HUSBAND OR ARE SINGLE. you have a wonderful, loving Savior. He always sees a beautiful and altogether lovely woman. He is unable to look away from you. Isaiah 43:1 "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are MINE." Isaiah 54:6 "the Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit - a wife who married young, only to be rejected, says your God." He is enough for me - this is great to say over and over until you can say "He is more than enough for me." and know it.

in our marriage it is so important to speak to each other like allies, and not combat like enemies. it is the storms inside the marriage that take us out, not the storms outside. (ouch.)

God has tied the earth to the sensitivity of how men and women treat each other. Proverbs 30:21-23 "under three things the earth trembles, under four it cannot bear it: a servant who becomes king, a fool who is full of food, an unloved woman who is married, and a maidservant who displaces her mistress." this was described as - two out of the 4 are dynamics of women in a marriage relationship. the maidservant who displaces her mistress is likened to an older woman being replaced by a younger one. a fool full of food is likened to a fool with way too much and wasting it. look around the globe at places women are mistreated - they have incredible resources, but they don't prosper, they are unstable because they don't have dominion, they have domination. the dominion given by God over the earth was for man and woman TOGETHER, not one over the other.

often the church focuses only on getting the "lost" saved. Luke 19:10 - "for the Son of Man came to seek and save that which was lost." we are to seek the lost, but also to take back what was lost, all of it. the authority that was handed to the enemy when sin entered the land. John 10:10 "My purpose is to give life and give it more abundantly." christians should be recovering in every area, we have been restored through Jesus. to recover we must have relationship.

women are strongest when we draw things near. men are strong when they extend. when we get our relationships right we can have dominion once again - together. we are to walk together, it is not about what we do as individuals. this is a multiplication again. one puts 1,000 to flight, two 10,000.... when you are in unity as one flesh, a marriage can accomplish..... two believers can accomplish..... too often we use our energy trying to be correct or have the last word when we need to let it all go and get in unity of purpose - to see God glorified. Ecc 4:11-12 "also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm but how can one keep warm alone? though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves."

God's promises are powerful and wonderful. draw to Him and find yourself.

Check This One

does satan have your time?
guess i would have to say been there done that....

Check It

pastor mike does change gotta click on the blue words and check what he says about change. good stuff maynard!!!

Do That Thing YOU Do So Well

wow, wednesday was a long time ago. good day, scary evening. glad it is over.

today i was letting my thoughts wonder as i was cooking some turkey legs and hash browns. (well kinda hash browns.....) i was thinking over something God was pointing out. i have these dreams and desires - put in me by God, Himself - and i took them and began to expect people to make them come true. (now, i know we all do this to some extent. and i knew i was putting expectations in the wrong location, but something about how He showed me this today just about stopped me from breathing..)

i fully expected a peoples to make my dream of singing come true. i expected people to make my dream of being a mother fulfilled. i wanted to have people provide the atmosphere so i could be a wonderful wife (perfect too...). guess what!!!! no one can do that. (again a no brainer, but when the truth hits you it sets you free...)

i was a bit horrified that i had gotten that wrapped up in believing a people could fulfill me. so enuf beating myself, because i have yet to find that my merciFUL(L) Father beats me with guilty feelings... i thanked Him for showing me, asked forgiveness, and forgave myself. then i had to release mercy to myself (because i have the tendency to berate, and punish myself. God just asks me why i am being so stupid and making forgiveness so hard. see He forgets we did the thing, putting it as far out of mind as the east is from the west... {you can never go east if you head west to get there.... pretty cool huh????}. i.e. HE DOES NOT KNOW THE ACTION/MOTIVE EXISTS WHEN YOU REPENT AND ASK FORGIVENESS....) then i released the people from my expectations. now when i am around them i can be free to love them without expectation. i am sure i will have to fend off some of the emotional habits associated with those expectations, but the good news - emotions don't rule the outcome when i don't let them.

and for the finale...? God is the only One that CAN provide my hopes, dreams, and desires. in His time. He alone is ABLE, no human has His ability, resources, or knowhow to make me happen.

hmmmm. still sound familiar. amazing how the truth keeps popping up. and the things i already know keep coming around again and again. so now that i recall Who provides for me, and makes things happen i can take the pressure off the people and off myself and trust God to do the thing that He do best... :) hehehehehehe - God is soooooo cool. you gotta get to know Him.

And Somehow The House Gets Cleaned Too

today seems to have been a whirlwind of activity. i was allowed the honor to sing with the worship team at the women's bible study. this was given by God, and it was wonderful to be doing that again.

today's study title: wielding favor and glory/what is the power of love.

God is coming back for a bride, not a church, not an army. He is coming back for a bride in her beauty and glory. women know how to do this best, they are created to be the glory of the man. women bring beauty, splendor, magnificence, we inspire feelings of wonder and joy in the man. eve awoke wonder in adam. man is the glory of God, and we are the glory of man. together we, mankind is crowned with glory and honor. we - men and women - show different glory.

women were created FOR man. statistics show that men love longer when married than when single, women on the other hand live the same amount of time whether single or married. it is not good for man to be alone - that is straight from God. a woman in a single position however has God for a husband. she can operate well single. sometimes it is good for us to be alone. we are created to be his helpmeet - men are better off with us than without us. we are not USED, we bring completion to the man. women add value to the life of a man. we were given glory to draw the man, to encompass his life with beauty. it is a place of celebration, not a domination of woman.

we are never to dishonor what God honors. He honors the man as a man and the woman as a woman. we have our separate strengths. we have the gift of feminine intuition and insight. we are able to see man (people) as they can be not as they are. we awaken tenderness, we have the ability to awaken the desire for the man to prove himself worthy of what she sees in him. it is a powerful strength. we can actually cause a man to want to be worthy of what we see in him.

the word is paralleled to a sward. men use a sword for battle. women use it to transfer honor. we elevate the men in our lives, make our sons princes, set apart our husband as royalty, call our daughters princesses, restore nobility and honor with kingdom dynamics and etiquette to the house of God. we bring honor to those around us.

for those around us we are guardians of their heart. we protect their weaknesses instead of pointing them out. encourage them in their strengths, bring balance, bless them, affirm and protect them. make sure they know you want them around.

very powerful meeting. i headed home with encouragement and a new sense of purpose.

i went home and vacuumed the house. amazing with all these things going on, and so much more to do this week that the house is somehow getting clean along with all the beautiful things God has been showing me. i am hearing His voice - that wisdom that shows up when a situation seems to erupt all over us. i am finding the strength and ability in Him, to pray until i know the answer is on its way. and i am trusting Him to save my situation and turn it into a beautiful work.

God is good and full of mercy. may i continually praise Him.

Truth

i love that God is so good. that He delights in the simple. when i am in the midst of a struggle, He can drop the simplest thought. and it will bring peace to the entire thing.

today i experienced praying until the job was done. my cousin's grand-baby has been diagnosed with an infant disease. for the past two days i have been praying - spurred on by God. there were several times i quit, only to be reminded how important it was to stick with it. today around 1:30 pm, He said it was done, she would live. just dropped into me. i was taken back at the knowing she would live. He told me yesterday that she would live and not die, but today He told me it was finished. He even allowed me a special insight about the situation. how wonderful He is.

i am still believing that there will be no damage from this virus to her body, mind, will, or emotion. nothing will be harmed, but she will have strength and everything she was intended to have. God is faithful. and this precious little one is in His hands.

i feel a struggle happening. i have not the words for what is going on, but it is like being attacked and not knowing why or where it is coming from. (well, i know where it comes from.) i am trusting God to lead me out of it. i have been seeking Him to know what my value is. most of my life i have gotten attention by the way i look or act toward people - usually to get what i want, even if it was just attention. that actually took away from the value i have. and i desperately want to know the value i have in Christ. i can never know my full value from any person, it is a false sense of who i am. but to know the full measure of what God says, well that can put to rest any longing or demand i may have of another person. and that is vital to survival in this life. people come and go, but the word of God is forever.

i send my love to you all, may you know the depth of love God has for you.