IT IS HERE!!!

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY

alright all - here is your chance. i ask you to leave a comment here for me. i am 31 today and hope to get 31 comments before the day is gone. please call your friends and ask them to post. i know it is a pain and you have to read strange characters, but it is a cheap gift - a little of your time - just leave a message.

thanks all.

Having Fun

alrighty - i am home. long flight - got up somewhere around 3am (i know i know it was az time and really 5....). i am TIRED.

i am sitting here at work with a pink 'hat' made from paper. it says 'happy birthday becca'. (sorry mom, the tiara broke, piece of junk.... i was going to pin it to my necklace for 'bling' but it was kind of kookie...)

it was a GREAT weekend. mom was so excited, sam pulled a great story together, and i showed up - finally. an hour late... and it was hard to leave. i was there long enough to get the time adjustment and leave again. and my regret is that i did not spend the time chatting with sam or mom like i wanted. the upside: how cool was it to get a plane ticket on wed night for under $300 round trip, and SURPRISE my mom. i am still giddy about it.

there is nothing like hanging with a mom that loves so much.

we worked in her yard - i credit working with bob in the yard. found i enjoy doing that kind of stuff. i trimmed her neighbour's trees - only what was hanging over the fence almost to the ground.... it looked great. trimmed up the ivy invading her fence too. (ty again to bob - i saw the amazing way our bushes shaped up after he trimmed them and had plenty of confidence to do the job.)

sunday we went to black angus and then to iron man (enjoyed both) after church - courtesy of sam. what a great gift!!

i am going to wear this 'hat' all week to celebrate. thinking of putting a note on the door tomorrow 'please wish receptionist happy birthday.' so cool :). i think i am getting a lot of positive response tonight. a few have asked me my age and then been choked up when i tell them... hmm a few guessed early 20s. that is crazy. wonder if it is the 'look' or a 'child-like' quality? i am ok with either. i am having a blast with it.

night.

Flyleaf - All Around Me

check this

and this

i like this song

Updating Pictures of Our Clean Up and THE BEES

alright here are some pictures to update the blog entry on the bee swarm in our tree (i think i wrote about that anyway....), and the yard clean up bob and i have been working on the past weekends..
first off here are the bees:




this green...whatever (but it is BIG and purty) is just out front of our door. here is a pict of the pink and white azaleas (and a bush that will disappear sooner or later..)

azalea growing infront of the evergreen bush.wide view of the front corner.
kind of can see the white rose bush and of course the pink bush. (my 'gardening' stuff on the left..)
closeup of pink bush (look tiny little buds...)
beautiful - i took one to work with me. i love flowers (what girl doesn't??).
backup view
bob cleaned up those bushes on the right - really made it look good. we cleared out the flowerbed and you can actually see dirt now...

overall pict of the newly cleaned out front.
here is the garbage

and that wraps up the picts.

SURPRISE

today i flew to az to see my mother. (and brother too....!!!) she knew nothing of it and actually thought they were picking up one of my brother's friends. i called her as i was walking toward them to distract her. she could not believe her eyes when she saw me - looked like those people that win the lottery and can't believe it. (YEAH!!)

kudos to my bro - he pulled off a very creative scenario and mom was totally shocked.

God is so good - He even helped me keep the secret. blessed me to be able to do this and i will never forget mom's excitement - she did not cry, but yealped there in the airport. i am so excited to be here. i have been telling my Daddy thank You all day, for two days - did not know i was coming until wed night when i talked it over with my treasure, he saw the definate goodness in the trip (ty honey). God is so good to us.

also have to give a shout to tina - her trip with her mom to tx this weekend got me thinking how cool it would be if.... and God did the rest.
have a great night.

Good Stuff

hey all. i would like to start by saying - i am sorry for the length of this one. i can't see it being short in anyway... that said - read on..

i am sitting here eating my egg and avocado spring mix salad - which i was craving and did not know it - with my newly painted, black toenails - the paint is black and i feel radical - totally excited about a few things that will probably turn into several things, and may explode into more after that. the more i ponder - okay i am not pondering at all just letting my thoughts wonder and being amazed at the enormity of what i am seeing... read on..

the black polish - all my growing up existance (and most of everyone elses too) i have done what i could to be accepted by others. wanted to have the right look, be in the right group (way too scared to get too involved tho..), find someone that would 'get me in'. as i sat painting my toes, i realized again - i really like what i see. for the first time in my life i like what is reflecting back at me in the mirror, even without make-up. i tend to follow trends and try to look like the picts - but have gone a different way entirely within the past month or so. and I REALLY LIKE IT. God has done that. i claim no part in it. my make-up style is completely radical and different than anyone around me. my hair colors are black, red, and blonde giant streaks (there are others with this style too.) and i prefer a scene 'mullet' style but have not had the chance to update the cut yet. and i LIKE IT. when i step out the door i feel confident about the way i look. all that said, i know God is not concerned with the outward appearance. if i was in a different place/situation maybe i would not be either. BUT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I DON'T WANT TO FOLLOW ANY PICTURE OR 'STYLE' GURU. i don't care if i am approved by people or not, i have found God approves of me. end of the story, finis. i would like people to approve, but human approval will change with the seasons, time, or if someone gets ticked off at me. God doesn't. He is constant and always approves ME (realize my actions and me are two different things. He will not always approve my actions, but He will always approve me. because my actions are at times dictated by what i just ate, how i feel, if i am upset/tired/happy etc. that is HUMAN. God is NOT.)

next.

i am learning what it is like to take every thought, emotion, hope, desire, - umm everything - to my Daddy. now. my picture of daddy and Daddy has recently changed. my Daddy (Father, God) i see in a blue three piece suit (i don't know why, but that is what i see. possibly because my dad was a sharp dresser and i believe God probably is too :).) He holds a brief case and is usually facing to my right, getting ready to work or leave for work. EVERY time i say 'Daddy.' the briefcase is IMMEDIATELY put down and He is facing me. i know i have His full attention and the work will wait, all day if i want it to. (there are all kinds of connections here for me - my dad and his desire to provide for the family with a steady job. God 'working' on me. God going about His daily - does He have 'days'??? - work... , etc.) He puts it all aside for me. ME. i know that any little thing, or big thing, He will hear and let me interact with Him about. crazy. knowing i have His total attention has broken through something in me. i feel love. it is not just the knowing part, it is real. and i feel such peace when i have finished pouring out my guts to Him.
that is all He wants. the best Friend, Confidant. an actual RELATIONSHIP. not only does He listen to me, but He offers council, shows me the truth of what is going on. puts my fears at rest - His perfect love casts out ALL fear. i will never be alone again. never be left on my own again. never be without hope again.

so if you are still with me after all that - know there is a reason and purpose. something grabbed your heart. something got your attention and may have even made it hard to breath. know what?? He wants that with you too. He will do anything to get you to come to Him. tell Him you hate Him, tell Him you hate what is going on. tell Him you have no hope and don't want to go on - know why? 'cuz He CAN do something about it. and if you let Him he will pull you close and love you in the midst of your mess, in the midst of being filthy and grossed out by who or what you are. He can and most importantly, greatly desires to pull you out of it.

God, help me. whatever You can do, do it.

God's Power In My Life

power. freedom. ability.

knowing i am accepted

tho i am

• foul in my thinking

• dirty inside

• have no good intentions for another

• selfish throughout

• unable to love

wicked

knowing i am accepted AND loved
while in the midst of those behaviours

priceless truth

how then, could i NOT become something more?