He Didn't Let Me Give In

okay, so today was tough. seems that there are such highs and lows along this path. God is forever steady and doesn't get all turned up side down (up-side-down?? like that? maybe...). when i listen to something that is not God speaking - all sorts of confusion and turmoil happen.

God is making it more and more apparent that anything that does not bring peace and comfort (mostly whatever disturbs the peace) is not of Him. He is a calming force. so the conclusion is that anything that brings fear into my mind, confusion, disruption of thanks giving to God, questions about His ability to take care of me and this situation, etc.... this list can go on forever - because anything negative is not of God. that could be a long list....

so again - today was tough. there was a lot of negativity attacking my mind. questions. confusion. thoughts of what lies the enemy plants about me. God's word is the authority. ANYTHING THAT DOES NOT LINE UP WITH WHAT IT SAYS IS FALSE - EVEN IF THINGS LOOK THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT THE WORD SAYS.

God does not lie - what He says about me is the truth. what He promises He does. and He even has to help me hold onto those promises. good news still is that i don't have to do anything to make myself more acceptable to Him so i can have His promises working in my life. He blesses me in spite of my shortcomings - why? because He is good. (i am by no means saying that He gives license to do what is against Him, doing what is not right.) it is the sacrifice of Jesus that makes me able to receive His promises and goodness. we know that works do not get us the promises. we know there is nothing in us that makes us good enough. there is nothing i can do to change my character or situation. only God has that power.

He is moment by moment changing me into what He has said about me all along - i am loving, kind, gentle, compassionate, strong,.... etc it is a wonderfully long and beautiful list. know why????? because when He looks at us He sees the completed work done through His Son, Jesus.

i know - it is mind boggling. but that means i have all i need, when i need it. God is amazing. His plan is so far advanced that we simply can not grasp it all.

if salvation relied on me i simply could not maintain goodness. there would come a point in time where i would explode nastiness all over the place. i simply can not maintain wonderful feelings and thoughts about everyone all the time. (i know i know you are shocked - right..) only God can make that change in my life - and boy do i have a ways to go still..... but He is the One to make that change in me. i can not even sustain good thoughts for 24 hours. there will come a point in time where i simply am too tired to be nice and sweet. God however gives me the strength to reply in a kind and loving manner.

have i mentioned too often that God is good?? as if i could ever mention it enough. this is a serious thing. not just the rantings of some person on the net. i have made a connection with life and am amazed at the difference. yes, there are still stinky, wish this never came my way days.. but they are redeemed by the One who loves me. somehow He takes the stinky days and pressure and causes a diamond to show up. and i can see it. that is HUGE. i can look in the mirror and know - somehow - i am changing. it has much to do with knowing i am loved and cared for. nothing can stand against me - God is for me. that is all that matters. (and this is a tough one to learn.) it matters not what anyone says - God knows the truth of the situation and He alone can change it, lifting me up and carrying me along.

i love Him because He first loved me.

draw me to You, Lord.

Promises

God, You are my strength, and i know You make the way when there seems to be no way.

You restore me, You lead me beside still waters, i want for nothing. You lay me in green pastures, You lead me on the path of righteousness for Your name sake. You prepare a table for me as my enemies look on wanting the goodness You have provided, my cup runs over. goodness and mercy follow me all the days of my life. i will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

i do not wrestle with flesh and blood, but with principalities and powers in high places. i cast down every high and lofty thought that exults itself against the knowledge of God.

i do not walk by what i see, but by faith. faith in God that He makes my path straight, that He lifts me up, that He defends me. that He knows the truth about me. He is my foundation, my hope, my life sustenance. God ALONE.

Papa, show me Your love today. take me deeper into You. let Your TRUTH shine.

You are my hope and my help, You meet my every need.

when the days look bleak and the time i spend seems daunting. i find that there is something about "drawing" close to God. meaning i stop looking at what i see and i open the Bible. there are promises in there - God cares for me. He cares about the place i find myself in. as i let go of trying to make things happen (so easy to type the words, but without His guidance i have no clue how to even begin that process.) and say the promises, believing He makes them happen, i find there is peace. the peace doesn't make sense if you look at what is going on, but it is given in spite of the turmoil surrounding me. God can actually give me what i need when things look so desperate. He gives me sleep when worry would like to steal it. He gives me hope when others say it is hopeless. He is true, and real, and i can't live a day without seeking Him and getting my needs met. i am needy!!! and only He can love me enough, only He can heal my broken heart and body, only He can get me out of the messes life brings along. NO ONE, and NO THING can dictate what i am or who i am. only God knows the truth - and loves me in spite of it. i hurt, He can heal it.

God Is My Humor

today i walked over to the "other side" at work. there is a drawing class on that side. as i walked through i smelled my dad's art room. brought tears to my eyes. there were times when the downstairs smelled like what i call "art smell". times when dad would be painting out in the garage and it would smell like this did. i was instantly transfered to "dad", and i am still noticing water from my eyes. wonderful smell (not really, kind of a harsh fume actually..). i miss him, he was a fun guy.

i loved his smile - lit up his whole face. and he had such great humor. he was quite funny and what he said would catch you off guard. he had "clean" humor.

my parents decided early in their marriage that they did not like sarcastic, biting humor. they looked at people and saw the cutting words and what those words did to others. so, i grew up in a home where there were not "humorous" cutting remarks being made. they did not make fun of each other's habits or looks.

i notice in my own life that i HATE cutting humor. i can not stand the way people "put others in their place" by using a harsh humor. or even just dog another person. do we not know what those words do to others??? the power of life and death, even when used as humor.

we are encouragers. our job is to not humiliate others, but to love them. God does not use words that make us feel like a worm or less than His precious child. we are to talk and act like Him.

and on that note - we can't do that on our own. God is the one to work in us to want to do what is correct AND to be able to do what is correct. if we don't rely on Him to do the work in us, we just simply won't be able to do what is right and good. it is the amazing power of God's grace working in us and giving us strength. He gives us the ability. He meets the need in our life, and causes what needs to, to be done.

God is gracious and wants the best for us, and the people we are around. He will work in us, through us, and touch others with His goodness. He is amazing.

it would seem pretty clear that God has a sense of humor. laughing brings joy and puts a smile on our face. what is good comes from Him. ask Him to help with your humor. ask for help - Father, i want to experience joy and fullness of life. help me to see the good. i want to be part of putting a smile on other's faces, and seeing them smile. Father, let me be part of Your plan. let the fullness of life in You be apparent in me and on my face. i give You the thanks for answering my prayer. thank You for abundant, overflowing into other lives, life.

God is my Hero.

Wow, Watch What You Put In Your Mind

this is just information on a situation. please know that God works. He turns things around and He hears our prayers. He loves oprah, He loves the people following her. He wants the best for all of them. ask Him to release His will, to let His will be done. don't just shake you head and move on saying you always knew something was wrong there or that you can't believe the lies being said. pray!! pray that the truth will set people free, that God's love will be known. when we get in line with what He says in the Bible and put our voice to it God listens. He hears us pray for others. it will be great to see what God does. He is good always. remember that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, let your mouth speak God’s word and His love in this situation.


denial that there is one way - Jesus




quite the info-mercial.

Alright, Stop What You Are Doing And Listen Up

hey all - something has broken in my life and i must put out some encouragement.

there are two schools of thought - God's and not God's (i label it - the enemy). we have all been told the Bible stories, the scriptures, everything that says what God says is true. i.e. we walk by faith not by sight, God calls us redeemed, etc. BUT I SEE THAT WE DON'T WALK LIKE WE BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!

for example - how many of you live day in and day out with emotions all over the place (even if you don't outwardly show them....). i am not good, i can't do anything right, at least i can do it better than so and so, umm i wish they would get it right don't they see everything is getting messed up around them, they do so and so and such and such, i am praying for them but they don't seem to get the hint....

alright - those thoughts are led by what is not God's thoughts. i.e. - enemy. if you don't like to say there is an enemy out there or we "give him too much credit" - whatever. the fact is whether it is our 'flesh' or the 'enemy' something is going against what God says and that is wrong, where ever you put the blame.

soo all that to say - the previous is the wrong way to think.

as christians - Christ followers, children of the Living God - we are new creations, the old is gone. (doesn't look like it??? umm we don't walk by what we see, but by faith. and i am going to go on with this for a bit.

God calls things that are not as tho they are - abraham. yeah, he was dried up and OLD, his wife - no capabilities to have children. God moved in on their little situation and said 'abram, you will be the father of many nations. and i am going to give you a new name just to prove it to you. you are not who you were, but something new (new name... ).' abraham and his wife, sarah (she even got a new name too...), SINNED. they brought into the agreement with God something that God did not want to use. God still honored His promise. God still made abraham the father of many nations.)

moral of the story - what does God say?!!!! that is the ONLY TRUTH. it doesn't matter what i see in front of me, or HOW long it takes. God is truth!!! what He says, happens. i get to claim - i am who He says i am. it doesn't matter what i look like to you. it doesn't matter what i think of myself - God says i am something different.

i believe in Jesus. His sacrifice was enough for me. He made me virtuous, righteous, kind, loving, an overcomer, everything good and perfect (justified - just as tho i did and do nothing wrong.) it doesn't mean i don't repent, it just means he ALREADY paid for it.

now just as paul speaks about in romans, does that mean i get to keep sinning just because i am forgiven. no!! my motive is new, i want God's best and He is working within me the ability to walk the way HE SEES ME. i don't want to sin, i want to walk free in God's stuff.

i was made a virtuous woman when i was 6 or 7 years old. i asked Jesus to come into my heart. at that very moment God saw me through Jesus. justified, righteous, perfected, finished work. i then went about my own life, choosing to believe lies that the enemy fed me. rejection, failure, messed up, unloved, etc. it took the amazing power of God working in me throughout various seasons in my life to FINALLY begin seeing - i am not that messed up person in God's eyes. therefore: i am not messed up..

people, He sees us perfectly when we trust Him. when we give up trying to ..... be good, be loving, be, be, be. when we lay down our striving and trying and trust Him. He will work in us to will and do what He wants. just how He sees us doing things... trust is hard. if we ask Him, He is faithful to help us trust Him.

see, if we are looking at ANYONE else, or any situation to give us worth, tell us we are good, or doing a good job..... it can not sustain us. there will come a point when that person or situation will let us down. ONLY GOD IS STABLE. only He does not change. His emotions don't get the better of Him. He doesn't get tired of us and impatient.... He is LOVE and He operates in love, out of love. HE IS LOVE. not the human kind, and not the kind that stops troubles from coming our way, but the kind that smooths the path through the troubles, the kind that gives us perfect peace while under attack. He lifts us up, He defends us, He, He, HE.... we trust and quit trying to .... change, fix, help,.....

God wants nothing in front of Him. no one. no thing. no belief. they are idols.... just Him. He will give us the desire of our heart when we stay steadfast on Him. (doesn't mean spending our life minute by minute reading the Bible or praying. means the focus of our life, where we get our life from, is HIM.) He still has to help us with that... we have not the strength, capabilities, stamina, it is Him.. you will see that the desire of your heart is brought to pass. may not look like you thought it would. it is better than you hoped it would be. He does it, and no one can stop it when you are trusting Him.

it doesn't matter how much time you spend reading the Bible, how much time you spend praying to Him. what matters is that you get that connection with Him. He says My sheep hear my voice and another they will not follow. get to know His voice, He speaks everywhere. Wisdom cries out in the streets.

God let me hear You. help me shut the stuff in my mind off. make Your still, small voice loud enough that i can hear it. You want me to hear it, then i will know what way to go. then i will know what to do. You don't want me floundering around out here by myself. You are a real relationship, closer than my closest friend. i need to hear You so that i can have life, and life abundantly. help me hear YOU.

stop what you are doing and listen up....

Today - Dad's Birthday

today would have been my dad's birthday. makes me a little sad thinking about it. and yet i choose to remember how good it was to know him. mom sent me some videos - dad wrestling around and playing with me when i was little. also showed him with sam as a little little guy. i just love watching them. dad has a big grin on his face - such a handsome face too. i know, i know - there are the glasses and the hair all the style from the late 70s early 80s, but it is such goodness on those tapes. i see such a happiness on his face. and i remember his smile, a little crooked on one side (very little). his eyes would get shiny and his cheeks like cherries.

i am so thankful for all the pictures that have been gathered. they store cherished memories. still bring some tears, but so good to have them. dad always cleaned up nice.

he had a great sense of humor. and he could get away with the tallest tales because he would hid his smile. if you knew how to see it - there would be a gleam in his eyes - you could tell he was kidding.

dad had the best voice too. mom told me the other day that she fell in love with his voice (then admitted it may have had something to do with his car....). his voice was strong and confident. such a nice sound to it, rich with tones - almost melodious, if a man can have a melodious voice..
dad was so creative. he could come up with such stunning art. he had a great eye for colors - i learned to love color from him. each color has its place. i wish i had some of his artwork. most of his later work was done online. he was very interested in the digital creation of art. loved to work with software in his creativity.

it was amazing to run talk to people at his funeral. so many lives he touched. puts some things into perspective. God is always reaching out through us. dad was loved by so many...

i loved my daddy, still do. he was a great man and i am honored to be his daughter. God was good (and is still good) to our family. we miss you daddy.

happy birthday. (would have been 58 this year.)

The Pledge of Allegiance