i am puzzled by this question. when i was younger (high school) it was so easy. friends - we just talked. homework, jobs, interests (were there any then?), cruised main street, anything and everything, problems with other friends. i can't even remember most of that.
after hs i never really let my guard down and got close to anyone. i have never felt 'safe' with anyone. i don't know how to be a friend. i feel that i have forgotten what it is to connect with people, and when there is a connection it gets awkward quickly. a skill i was once so very good with has disappeared.
how do i awaken this sleeping talent? how do i find another that i can be open and honest with out feeling exposed? (and why do i feel it would be exposure? i think there are such neat things about myself and others are fascinating too so why is it that i feel there is such a dark thing in me? don't we all suffer from some thing we believe is not the best quality to have? doesn't that actually make us human and - dare i say - normal?) and there is this desperate cry to be vulnerable with others, i don't want the possible pain it can - most likely will - cause, why does it have to be so difficult?
i remember hanging out at people's homes. chatting about anything and everything, laughing A LOT.... where did it all go?
so what do you do for fun? how do you make friends when you move to a new place? when a new person come in the picture do you make room for them?
this world can be such a lonely place, why go through it by yourself when there are so many others looking for a connection with you? it is our design, we were made for relationships with others. crafted to fit into people's lives, needing acceptance and love... so what is my part to play in this?
kathy, i am sorry i have not been a good friend. and so many others i have lost contact with.. lets try again.
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