About Me

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Oklahoma, United States
i am in the midst of a huge life change. learning what grace says about me. letting God's love speak and embrace me. when i fall down, He's there with me. i am a daughter. i am a wonderful treasure.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Good To Know

i agree with the following in that during the toughest points of life i can find the sweetest to savor. God amazingly cares for us when it looks like our world will fall apart. each time i have put my eyes on Him and reminded myself that He loves me so deeply and perfectly i find peace that my life matters and is in good hands. when my eyes are on my situation and how much it stinks then i feel that overwhelming 'nothing can happen for my good and i am not going to get out of this pain' place. life does make sense when i am in the 'i was made for Him and am able to give to others.' place.

the following is from an email i received:

'New insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, Purpose Driven Life author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California.

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said: "'People ask me, What is the purpose of life?'And I respond: 'In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity..
We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.
This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems: If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain. But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.
We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her- It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people. You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.
Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.
First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit.. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.'"

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD...
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD..

HE ARRIVED THIS MORNING, WE HAD PRAYER; SPENT SOME TIME JUST TALKING, AND HE HELD ME FOR AWHILE BECAUSE I WAS HAVING A BAD MORNING.. THEN, HE LET ME KNOW HE WAS AT YOUR PLACE TOO.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Broken By Lifehouse

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there healing
In your name (In your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hanging on another day just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name (In your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on,(I'm still holdin)
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you


Broken by Lifehouse

Thursday, May 14, 2009

A Point In Your Life.....

There comes a point in your life when you realize:

what matters,

who never did,

who won't anymore,

and who always will.

So, don't worry about people from you past,

there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

http://crazydaisy.typepad.com/.a/6a010534afd290970c01156f1fa229970c-pi

Friday, May 8, 2009

Checking In

good morning. it has been quite a while but i want you to know i am still here. http://www.blogger.com/profile/17979661315344655544

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

What Choice Is There Now?

Can't eat pork, Swine flu...

Can't eat chicken, Bird flu.

Can't eat Beef, Mad cow....

Can't eat eggs, Salmonella.

Can't eat fish, heavy metal poisons in their waters.

Can't eat fruits and veggies, insecticides and herbicides.

Hmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

A Bit Of 'Ology' About Me

Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name followed by "ology".

***********FOODOLOGY***************
What is your salad dressing of choice? Cesar

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Panera

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? piece of chocolate

What are your pizza toppings of choice? jalapeƱos and whatever

What do you like to put on your toast? butter baby

***********TECHNOLOGY***************

How many televisions are in your house? ? not sure anymore

What color cell phone do you have? silver base that has 'play clothes'

Do you have an Ipod? not yet…

***************BIOLOGY******************

Are you right-handed or left-handed? right

Have you ever had anything removed from your body? toenail, wisdom teeth, think that covers it – oh hair

What is the last heavy item you lifted? campus mail

Have you ever been knocked unconscious? only knocked for a loop – is that the same?

************DUMBOLOGY******************

How many pairs of flip flops do you own? 2

Last time you had a run-in with the cops? 2002 left car at airport while dropping off my grandmother at the airport

Last person you talked to? kent – he just told me he was leaving

Last person you hugged? charity

**************FAVORITOLOGY****************

Season? spring,fall,summer,winter – umm ALL of them

Holiday? what is a holiday?

Day of the week? Friday

Month? umm all of them
***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************

Missing someone? always

Mood? sad – that missing someone question – why put this AFTER that question??

What are you listening to? Pandora Radio – Beautiful disaster by Jon McLaughlin

Watching? the cursor moving along the page

Worrying about? not much – too much to do for worrying right now.

***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************

First place you went this morning? bathroom – great place for peace and quiet ;)

What's the last movie you saw? fast and furious ;)

Do you smile often? oh yes!!!


***************OTHER-OLOGY*****************

1) Do you always answer your phone? not always

2) It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it from? no clue I slept through it

3) If you could change your eye color what would it be? purple

3b) If you could change your hair color, what color would you change it to? umm I change it often enough that I don’t have the problem with ‘if you could’

4) What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? don’t drink anything from sonic…..

5) Do you own a digital camera? no

6) Have you ever had a pet fish? no

7) Favorite Christmas song(s)? carol of the bells

8) What's on your wish list for your birthday? anything tyler perry made

9) Can you do push ups? yes

10) Can you do a chin up? it is a team effort.

11) Does the future make you more nervous or excited? a little of both

12) Do you have any saved texts? yes

13) Ever been in a car wreck? yes

14) Do you have an accent? often – depends on how tired I am

15) What is the last song to make you cry? um all songs make me cry

16) Plans tonight? church – probably will cry there too

17) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? yes, so many times and there are new depths. I am so thankful for a loving Savior

18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday? I did not buy anything yesterday – my card is new and I did not have it ‘turned on’…

19) Have you ever been given roses? I am sure I have since high school but cannot remember the last time…. and I love roses

20) Current worry? if my future is as good as God keeps saying it is

21) Current hate right now? feeling so broken

22) Met someone who changed your life? Jesus is my life changer

23) How did you bring in the New Year? watched some dvds and went to bed around 10pm

24) What song represents you? too many to count

25) Name three people who might complete this? Stephanie, Miranda, hmmm not sure who else

26) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? yes, wouldn’t we all? Tho I would not be finding the strength I am now.

27) Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? yes

28) Do you have any tattoos/piercings? not yet…

29) Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now? not sure on that one either

30) Does anyone love you? yes

31) Would you be a pirate? you betcha

32) What songs do you sing in the shower? whatever comes to mind, mostly made-up stuff.

33) Ever had someone sing to you? probably when I was very young

34) When did you last cry? this morning

36) Do you like to cuddle? absolutely

37) Have you held hands with anyone today? no, not for a very very very long time

38) Who was the last person you took a picture of? marni

39) What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school? not sure – that was a long time ago

40 Do you believe in staying close with your ex's/prospects? probably a bad idea right now

41) Are most of the friends in your life new or old? most are new, tho there are several who keep hanging on with me

42) Do you like pulpy orange juice? no feels like there are weird things going down my throat

43) What is something your friends make fun of you for? snorting when I laugh

44) If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? no would put a limit on me

45) If you could change your name, what would you change it to? I like my name and the meaning. My parents asked God what to name me

46) Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? y not… that is a lot of money.