it is funny how a few days can pass without putting something on this blog. God is always doing something.....
i need to give a shout out. earlier in my childhood something happened that i thought would effect me for the rest of my life. now, approaching my 31st birthday i see that what was meant for evil God has restored and made that area of my life better than i ever imagined it could be. (and i have a VERY VIVID imagination.)
i knew several weeks ago that something had changed, but the depth of it had not hit me. and at this time, and in this situation - it is actually miraculous that God could have healed this. don't get me wrong - God heals anything that we give to Him (and i guess that should have clued me into what He was doing.... still not perfect i guess) - but due to what is seen in my current situation (and i say seen because i do not walk by sight but by faith in God to do and change what seems to be so "real") i would never have thought He could deal with that childhood situation in such a wonderful way. God truly knows how to pour out His power and love. i am free to enjoy what i thought was stolen from me. i am free. i want to jump up and down, raise my hands and dance. it is good to be free.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Dr. Apt
this morning i had a dr apt. God has done wonderful things - my blood sugars are better (.5 down), cholesterol has dropped dramatically, i have shed 20 lbs - all this since my appointment in november. i know for a fact tho that i did nothing until around the 16th of december that would have effected my health in a positive way. so all that has happened between the middle of december and now. WOW - God can sure move mountains and He gets the total acknowledgment.
have a great day.
have a great day.
Bending Your Ear A Bit
i am uncertain how to begin this post because it may sound as if i am bragging... but hang with me for a minute (or more, or less even....). i have always suspected (known) i was attractive, even going as far as thinking i was quite a prize. but the other day God told me i am Beautiful.
now, i know that sounds pretty lame. but to have a full and complete knowledge, as i look in the mirror, that my Creator says i am beautiful. i could see something from within showing on my face. not the beauty of skin or coloring. it has nothing to do with my new do or the make-up i carefully apply each day. there is something within that demands to get out. and for the first time I SEE IT.
if i stop paying attention to God, it begins to fade from my view. each time i spend some of my very precious time with God the beauty shows forth again. i notice i feel compassion and love toward my husband in a new way. i see others differently, (hehe) better. my view of the circumstances changes and i acknowledge God's guideance. it has nothing to do with me being anything or having anything. it is totally God.
personally i am making a specific request before my Papa. i would ask that, if it is placed on your heart, you would join me in agreement. it is not for my marriage (specifically), or personal gain. but i trust that if you are to join me God will place within your heart the desire to agree with me - whether you know what it is or not.
on another trail. have you noticed the political policies for marriage and civil unions has become a major issue - whether marriage is one man and one woman. satan is putting an all out attack on marriage (even non-christian based ones) and family. he is attacking anything that even hints of goodness - the union that God puts together with marriage. please add to your prayers this situation. marriage must be protected and fought for. families must be protected and fought for in our prayers. time is at hand to stand.
and remember it has nothing to do with people, flesh and blood people. the enemy is not someone you see or hear about. it is a real enemy that is totally against God and what God has said is good. continue in your love of people. love brings people closer and offers healing, but do not give in to what satan is trying to accomplish in this culture. remember he is defeated, we put voice to that defeat in our prayers and see his plans demolished. God wants families blessed, marriages blessed, children blessed and equipped for the future. and that is our job, to prepare the next generation for what is to come.
at women's group lisa bevere shared the topic of when women are to strike. women are not meant for battle or to BE on the battlefield. women are given a sense of things coming so they can offer it to God and deal with things before they become an issue. God will anoint/bless whatever we have at our disposal. we do not strike at men, or our children. we do not strike at people, satan is the enemy and we are equipped to deal with him.
it is not that we do not fight or hold tightly to something - but we have to funnel that into the correct path. we are to strike whenever the boundaries of love and life are crossed. we fight to prevent death and loss, to promote dignity, to preserve life, wisdom, and virtue. our weapons are like arrows. arrows are for advance attacks before the battle is engaged (this is where we sometimes see things before they happen). we launch our children into position so they will not be afraid of the future. as we see things coming in the future we can prepare them for it. children should never be held back because of OUR fears, they will have to face what we don't.
we also have the ability to call for help from our Creator. He is poised and ready to answer before we even state in prayer what is needed or ask for the assistance. He is ever ready and waiting for us to put voice to what is needed. Isaiah 65:24 "before they call, I will answer, while they are still speaking, I will hear." when we see something coming we must not fear its coming, we must send an answer by praying. if we don't know what words to speak we can pray the Word, and if we don't know what scripture to stand on then we must pray in the Spirit - but something must be done. even rejoicing in the Lord and the knowledge that He has an answer releases something.
God has given us the ability to bring healing to a situation. we can restore life to ourselves or a loved one (what a gift that is). we can bring life to a situation when we listen to Wisdom and then speak, or be silent - whichever Wisdom counsels. i have a new respect for gentleness, meekness, a mild temperament. NOT weakness, there is STRENGTH in these behaviors. being the one to bring peace into a situation and not inflame it. what power - to calm a raging storm. when we listen to what God says about a situation we can be part of the solution. we can totally turn a situation with our loved ones by invoking God's healing power to take place, all it takes is a little quieting of our thoughts and listening to counsel.
we are bombarded with images of women "warriors". the picture of strength because they can destroy the enemy by beating the heck out of them. but this is not our forte. ask yourself - what is better a killing stroke or healing? to destroy a city or to feed an enemy? to be the hand that brings restoration or the one that divides?
we are made for winning - not battling each other. our allies are men, and each other. we must be examples for the next generation so they won't lose perspective and values. we are givers, givers of time, food, clothes, money, encouragement, whatever God has put into our hands. He has blessed it to answer the need in someone. so much better to be an answer than a problem. if we don't find some way to give then we will find our life is drying up.
so take courage and realize that there is purpose and hope, no matter the situation. God knew what was going to happen, and He equipped us with a voice to ask for the answer and faith to believe it will come to pass. we are able to win and see the victory. God has given everything we need. my prayer is that you will come to know the fullness of God in your life.
now, i know that sounds pretty lame. but to have a full and complete knowledge, as i look in the mirror, that my Creator says i am beautiful. i could see something from within showing on my face. not the beauty of skin or coloring. it has nothing to do with my new do or the make-up i carefully apply each day. there is something within that demands to get out. and for the first time I SEE IT.
if i stop paying attention to God, it begins to fade from my view. each time i spend some of my very precious time with God the beauty shows forth again. i notice i feel compassion and love toward my husband in a new way. i see others differently, (hehe) better. my view of the circumstances changes and i acknowledge God's guideance. it has nothing to do with me being anything or having anything. it is totally God.
personally i am making a specific request before my Papa. i would ask that, if it is placed on your heart, you would join me in agreement. it is not for my marriage (specifically), or personal gain. but i trust that if you are to join me God will place within your heart the desire to agree with me - whether you know what it is or not.
on another trail. have you noticed the political policies for marriage and civil unions has become a major issue - whether marriage is one man and one woman. satan is putting an all out attack on marriage (even non-christian based ones) and family. he is attacking anything that even hints of goodness - the union that God puts together with marriage. please add to your prayers this situation. marriage must be protected and fought for. families must be protected and fought for in our prayers. time is at hand to stand.
and remember it has nothing to do with people, flesh and blood people. the enemy is not someone you see or hear about. it is a real enemy that is totally against God and what God has said is good. continue in your love of people. love brings people closer and offers healing, but do not give in to what satan is trying to accomplish in this culture. remember he is defeated, we put voice to that defeat in our prayers and see his plans demolished. God wants families blessed, marriages blessed, children blessed and equipped for the future. and that is our job, to prepare the next generation for what is to come.
at women's group lisa bevere shared the topic of when women are to strike. women are not meant for battle or to BE on the battlefield. women are given a sense of things coming so they can offer it to God and deal with things before they become an issue. God will anoint/bless whatever we have at our disposal. we do not strike at men, or our children. we do not strike at people, satan is the enemy and we are equipped to deal with him.
it is not that we do not fight or hold tightly to something - but we have to funnel that into the correct path. we are to strike whenever the boundaries of love and life are crossed. we fight to prevent death and loss, to promote dignity, to preserve life, wisdom, and virtue. our weapons are like arrows. arrows are for advance attacks before the battle is engaged (this is where we sometimes see things before they happen). we launch our children into position so they will not be afraid of the future. as we see things coming in the future we can prepare them for it. children should never be held back because of OUR fears, they will have to face what we don't.
we also have the ability to call for help from our Creator. He is poised and ready to answer before we even state in prayer what is needed or ask for the assistance. He is ever ready and waiting for us to put voice to what is needed. Isaiah 65:24 "before they call, I will answer, while they are still speaking, I will hear." when we see something coming we must not fear its coming, we must send an answer by praying. if we don't know what words to speak we can pray the Word, and if we don't know what scripture to stand on then we must pray in the Spirit - but something must be done. even rejoicing in the Lord and the knowledge that He has an answer releases something.
God has given us the ability to bring healing to a situation. we can restore life to ourselves or a loved one (what a gift that is). we can bring life to a situation when we listen to Wisdom and then speak, or be silent - whichever Wisdom counsels. i have a new respect for gentleness, meekness, a mild temperament. NOT weakness, there is STRENGTH in these behaviors. being the one to bring peace into a situation and not inflame it. what power - to calm a raging storm. when we listen to what God says about a situation we can be part of the solution. we can totally turn a situation with our loved ones by invoking God's healing power to take place, all it takes is a little quieting of our thoughts and listening to counsel.
we are bombarded with images of women "warriors". the picture of strength because they can destroy the enemy by beating the heck out of them. but this is not our forte. ask yourself - what is better a killing stroke or healing? to destroy a city or to feed an enemy? to be the hand that brings restoration or the one that divides?
we are made for winning - not battling each other. our allies are men, and each other. we must be examples for the next generation so they won't lose perspective and values. we are givers, givers of time, food, clothes, money, encouragement, whatever God has put into our hands. He has blessed it to answer the need in someone. so much better to be an answer than a problem. if we don't find some way to give then we will find our life is drying up.
so take courage and realize that there is purpose and hope, no matter the situation. God knew what was going to happen, and He equipped us with a voice to ask for the answer and faith to believe it will come to pass. we are able to win and see the victory. God has given everything we need. my prayer is that you will come to know the fullness of God in your life.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Whole Lotta Nothing
today has been a beautifully warm day. somewhere in the 70s. tomorrow is forecast to have snow in the evening. wow!!! and i have to remind myself this is february... whatever that is supposed to mean...
i worked on the laundry today. also dusted and vacuumed. ironed. probably did some other things, but i can not remember... it seemed to be a very fast day.
since i have caught up on the filing at work i find the last portion of my day goes rather slowly. i may have to take a book to work with me. my boss said that would be alright. but then again - it is so hard to read while i am suppose to be working... so i will find something to occupy my time and i hope it is work related...
tomorrow i plan to get some lab work done, then wednesday is the women's meeting, thurs i have a dr apt in the a.m. and am planning a dinner with a friend, fri i hope to do mostly nothing, sat work and run errands.... sun rest and then all over again. i feel this week is going to be full and probably very quick.
well tata for now.
i worked on the laundry today. also dusted and vacuumed. ironed. probably did some other things, but i can not remember... it seemed to be a very fast day.
since i have caught up on the filing at work i find the last portion of my day goes rather slowly. i may have to take a book to work with me. my boss said that would be alright. but then again - it is so hard to read while i am suppose to be working... so i will find something to occupy my time and i hope it is work related...
tomorrow i plan to get some lab work done, then wednesday is the women's meeting, thurs i have a dr apt in the a.m. and am planning a dinner with a friend, fri i hope to do mostly nothing, sat work and run errands.... sun rest and then all over again. i feel this week is going to be full and probably very quick.
well tata for now.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Just Listen
you know as i read over my blog entry from friday night, i am just so surprised how quickly i can get in league with what the enemy is doing. satan comes as a thief - to steal, kill, and destroy. he is also described as coming as an angel of light. he is so sneaky and tricky, and it is easy to be skunked by him.
but that is why the Bible is so important - it gives wisdom and instruction. in that book we can find the answer we need for each moment. and then there is the voice of God. God loves to talk. He has a still, small voice so a person has to quiet them self and listen closely. the knowledge of what is right and what is unselfish - that is usually the voice of God. i have heard it said often that people feel like they are in the desert - they can't hear what they should do. i am going to make a blanket statement - because i don't know each and every situation. if you can't hear what you should do and you have been praying for God to show you what to do. be still, know that He is God (there is no one else that can answer you with what you truly need....) and listen better. quiet the worry, concern, all the things that pop into your mind, and calm the emotional. like i said satan is tricky and he uses ANYTHING to distract us from God's word and His voice.
i see it like this. God sent His Son, Jesus, to stand in my place and give me the ability to come to Him for anything. when i believe that Jesus took my wrong doings, all that i would mess up, upon Himself, He actually made me okay to be in relationship with my Creator. soooo that leads me to believe that God really wants to be friends with me. that He really wants me to know what is on His heart and how i should behave. He did not go to all that "trouble", sending His Son to die for me, just so i could keep being confused and wonder what the heck i am supposed to do in this life. HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME... and i am not talking about this audible voice booming directions. i find that i don't "hear voices" but i know when wisdom is being put into the situation and i want to follow what is wise.
i.e. if someone says something stupid and hurts my feelings, wisdom would say that there is a bigger issue and it may have nothing to do with me. so i should not blast that person because i may be misunderstanding the situation. most likely even if the person has a "problem" with me it really is not about me but something within them they are battling... and since hurt can become a big issue in my heart, i need to get rid of it as soon as possible. so wisdom says "let it go and let healing come into your heart". that is so much better than carrying around the chip of hurt. it gets heavy and makes me hard to be around.
that is the way i hear God at times. and sometimes i really believe i hear in my conscience - "becca, back off. this is my deal and you don't need to get involved." like i said not an audible voice, just like a knowing inside that i need to extract myself from the situation asap and let God do some work.
so what is this post about? well, i guess i am finding it is very easy to believe a lie when i am letting hurt and pain restrict my life. so, friday's blog was for me too. i can not let my junk get in the way of what God is trying to do in my life and with my marriage. i must trust Him to work things out and keep myself focused on Him and getting rid of the stuff that has been stopping me from trusting Him and living a life that shows how wonderful God is.
i have been holding part of my heart from my husband. very rarely being the loving, easy-going, fun person that God made me to be. i am lighthearted, but i don't let it show. i am beautiful, but i would not believe it. not until God did some major work in me. i am amazed at how i can view myself now, because of a wonderful work God has done. He is actually changing the way i see life. bringing a lightness to my viewpoint. and best of all i am trusting Him with things i have held so dearly (and messed up so horribly i might add..).
there is a freedom in letting go of what i so dearly want to hold onto. and it is an almost daily decision. but you know what? God gave me some specific desires, and promised to bring them to pass. and when He promises something, it will happen, no matter what the eyes see. that is why it is specifically said to not walk by sight but by faith.
faith is believing when it looks like things are hopeless. God never makes things look hopeless - that is the enemy. i know i have complete authority over satan because Jesus stripped his power when He died on that cross. therefore i have hope of things i don't see (marriage being healed, children being born, becoming a meek and gentle woman) and trust that God will make them come true, i only have to be obedient to what His word says and what i hear Him say to me. and when i blow it, i can ask forgiveness and healing allowing Him to restore. His grace is so beautiful, and He gives mercy every day. i have hope.
so i am not focusing on the wrongs i am doing - that would just get overwhelming. and i am not ignoring them. but i am asking for change to happen. and God is so loving when He makes changes in me. He points out my behavior or the attitude that is wrong. then He shows me what a better choice is. then He GIVES me the strength to make that decision. amazing, He does practically all of it. well technically, i think He does it all, because He gives me the courage to make the decision and the desire to have the change. oh and He has had to yank my chain too. i get so stubborn and immature - thinking my way is best or He is taking too long, or even that i just don't want to do what is best. but He is so loving, even in that correction. He draws us to change because His love is so great.
if you are struggling with a situation the most important thing is to realize you can't do it but God can. and if you are willing to trust Him to work in the situation, and use you - even if you only can trust that He wants to work in the situation, things will change. God is Healer, Redeemer, Restoration, Peace, Patience, Love, Joy, Comfort, Father and Mother to the orphan, able to meet every need, Hope in hopelessness. He is all that and more. quit struggling alone and call out to Him, He is right here already.
but that is why the Bible is so important - it gives wisdom and instruction. in that book we can find the answer we need for each moment. and then there is the voice of God. God loves to talk. He has a still, small voice so a person has to quiet them self and listen closely. the knowledge of what is right and what is unselfish - that is usually the voice of God. i have heard it said often that people feel like they are in the desert - they can't hear what they should do. i am going to make a blanket statement - because i don't know each and every situation. if you can't hear what you should do and you have been praying for God to show you what to do. be still, know that He is God (there is no one else that can answer you with what you truly need....) and listen better. quiet the worry, concern, all the things that pop into your mind, and calm the emotional. like i said satan is tricky and he uses ANYTHING to distract us from God's word and His voice.
i see it like this. God sent His Son, Jesus, to stand in my place and give me the ability to come to Him for anything. when i believe that Jesus took my wrong doings, all that i would mess up, upon Himself, He actually made me okay to be in relationship with my Creator. soooo that leads me to believe that God really wants to be friends with me. that He really wants me to know what is on His heart and how i should behave. He did not go to all that "trouble", sending His Son to die for me, just so i could keep being confused and wonder what the heck i am supposed to do in this life. HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME... and i am not talking about this audible voice booming directions. i find that i don't "hear voices" but i know when wisdom is being put into the situation and i want to follow what is wise.
i.e. if someone says something stupid and hurts my feelings, wisdom would say that there is a bigger issue and it may have nothing to do with me. so i should not blast that person because i may be misunderstanding the situation. most likely even if the person has a "problem" with me it really is not about me but something within them they are battling... and since hurt can become a big issue in my heart, i need to get rid of it as soon as possible. so wisdom says "let it go and let healing come into your heart". that is so much better than carrying around the chip of hurt. it gets heavy and makes me hard to be around.
that is the way i hear God at times. and sometimes i really believe i hear in my conscience - "becca, back off. this is my deal and you don't need to get involved." like i said not an audible voice, just like a knowing inside that i need to extract myself from the situation asap and let God do some work.
so what is this post about? well, i guess i am finding it is very easy to believe a lie when i am letting hurt and pain restrict my life. so, friday's blog was for me too. i can not let my junk get in the way of what God is trying to do in my life and with my marriage. i must trust Him to work things out and keep myself focused on Him and getting rid of the stuff that has been stopping me from trusting Him and living a life that shows how wonderful God is.
i have been holding part of my heart from my husband. very rarely being the loving, easy-going, fun person that God made me to be. i am lighthearted, but i don't let it show. i am beautiful, but i would not believe it. not until God did some major work in me. i am amazed at how i can view myself now, because of a wonderful work God has done. He is actually changing the way i see life. bringing a lightness to my viewpoint. and best of all i am trusting Him with things i have held so dearly (and messed up so horribly i might add..).
there is a freedom in letting go of what i so dearly want to hold onto. and it is an almost daily decision. but you know what? God gave me some specific desires, and promised to bring them to pass. and when He promises something, it will happen, no matter what the eyes see. that is why it is specifically said to not walk by sight but by faith.
faith is believing when it looks like things are hopeless. God never makes things look hopeless - that is the enemy. i know i have complete authority over satan because Jesus stripped his power when He died on that cross. therefore i have hope of things i don't see (marriage being healed, children being born, becoming a meek and gentle woman) and trust that God will make them come true, i only have to be obedient to what His word says and what i hear Him say to me. and when i blow it, i can ask forgiveness and healing allowing Him to restore. His grace is so beautiful, and He gives mercy every day. i have hope.
so i am not focusing on the wrongs i am doing - that would just get overwhelming. and i am not ignoring them. but i am asking for change to happen. and God is so loving when He makes changes in me. He points out my behavior or the attitude that is wrong. then He shows me what a better choice is. then He GIVES me the strength to make that decision. amazing, He does practically all of it. well technically, i think He does it all, because He gives me the courage to make the decision and the desire to have the change. oh and He has had to yank my chain too. i get so stubborn and immature - thinking my way is best or He is taking too long, or even that i just don't want to do what is best. but He is so loving, even in that correction. He draws us to change because His love is so great.
if you are struggling with a situation the most important thing is to realize you can't do it but God can. and if you are willing to trust Him to work in the situation, and use you - even if you only can trust that He wants to work in the situation, things will change. God is Healer, Redeemer, Restoration, Peace, Patience, Love, Joy, Comfort, Father and Mother to the orphan, able to meet every need, Hope in hopelessness. He is all that and more. quit struggling alone and call out to Him, He is right here already.
Friday, February 1, 2008
God Is All That And More
throughout all the studies, church services, even the political debates i really feel that God is calling us to quit being what we are and start reaching out to Him so we can be the light we are supposed to be. i see that the church has slipped into being a hurt, rebellious, messy, and partial of what it was to be - a guiding light. we have stayed in our hurt places with our hands crossed over our chest and said "God, You have not done enough and i am still hurting, broken, abandoned, (whatever goes here....) and i will not move from this spot until the work is done."
God called us the be the forefront - to show how it is to live in freedom. to not be labored down with hurts, bitterness, illness, etc. we, as His representatives, are supposed to be the ones to show what is good and best. granting mercy to those that don't deserve it. taking care of the ones no one wants to care for. not pushing our morals on others, but living them - which shows a strength and peace that is incomprehensible until you experience it personally. when we live in peace and strength without saying or pushing anything, it causes people to want to know what lets us live that way. it is time to quit staying in a whining position of hurt and self-pity and let God finish the work He started.
i see (and have been myself) hurting people refusing to let the hurt go - actually denying the power of God's healing in their life. words coming out of their mouth lying about God's ability to work in their life. i am living proof that God can take a heart full of pain, bitterness, and hurt and turn it around.
and here is my little rampage - it is ridiculous for those of us that claim Jesus as our Lord, our Savior, to not walk in freedom from hurts, bitterness, whatever we are claiming God can not fix. God is in control. and it is a lie straight from the pit of hell to say that our pain and suffering is too great in ANY situation for God to deal with. it is foolish for us to make the claim that God, in essence, is a liar. we are actually agreeing with God's enemy when we say we are too.... (insert whatever here...) to let Him fix it, or for Him to fix it. NO SITUATION OR PERSON CAN BE SO BAD THAT GOD CANNOT WORK!!!!!! !!!!!!!! (and a few more..)!!!!!!!! there is no one that has done so much to you that you can not let the bad stuff go. there is no one that has been so bad or is so messed up that God can not change the outcome. and there is no situation so far gone that God can not step in and fix it. NOTHING. i am living proof. i have the proof of my life to show for it. no one and nothing can effect you or i so much that God can not change it. so get up and quit whining!!! (i also understand how difficult it is to let go of self pity and whatever other junk keeps us in that place of whining, but the outcome is so much better. and you will have character that you never thought you could have.)
my part was to acknowledge God did make provision for healing and freedom in the death of His Son, Jesus Christ. He knew bad things would happen, people would hurt me, and i would have the choice to hold it or let it go. He gave me permission to make that choice. making the wrong choice led me to years of pain and suffering. but God is gracious and full of mercy.
He allowed me a change of heart. i forgave the people involved in hurting me (still have to recall that they are forgiven at times. satan loves to bring up old junk and hurt, but i have forgiven those people and have given them mercy for what they did. EVEN THO THEY DID NOT DESERVE MERCY.) i forgave myself (sometimes the hardest part), and asked for healing for those parts of my heart that wanted to keep hurting. (strange but when you live with junk it gets comfortable and a person likes living with it. like having a great big home and collecting stuff - you don't even know you have most of the stuff. when you go through it - or have to move - it is at times overwhelming to the point of wanting to keep it all. and it hurts to get rid of some of the things, but when they are let go there comes a peace. like a burden lifted off that you don't even know you are carrying...)
so i let go of that stuff - the hate, hurt, bitterness, pain, mistrust, etc (and believe me it was and is not easy. there is so much to still deal with. but i am so thankful that i am not who and what i was and never have to be there again. God is sooooooo good!!!)
each day i get up and ask for strength to face what is coming my way that day. and i boast that God is getting me through every moment. it is so nice to be free of those hindrances. i find that God can now take me into a place of learning what it is to love freely. not holding back my love from people. He commanded us to love one another, that people should know us by our love for one another. He will guard me and protect me from danger or hurt. see, He has taken hurt from me, and i now have the experience of being healed from that hurt, that when hurtful things are said i know i can run to my Papa and be healed. I DON'T HAVE TO HOLD ONTO THAT HURTFUL STUFF. He takes it and deals with the person.
God has told me this month He is going to show me what it is to love, to give it, receive it, know it, accept it, show it, to live it. He warned me that it is not going to be easy but He will guard me and protect me. to tell you something that was not easy to hear. i feel there has been so much hurt already and i really don't want to have anymore, but to know that He has already done so much for me and that He has ended things in my life, to know that He has my back and will take care of me. and i know that His character is to never leave me or forsake me, that He is for my good ALWAYS. well that all means i will be okay. i will come out on top. and i just may learn what love, true love really is. i definitely want that.
so it is time to pull ourselves up out of our defiant position, full of hurt and let God be our healer, redeemer, restoration, etc - what is it you need? He is all that and more.
time to cry out to Him. let Him know you can't do it and you know He and He alone can. it is better to live in freedom than those chains that keep you from living.
God called us the be the forefront - to show how it is to live in freedom. to not be labored down with hurts, bitterness, illness, etc. we, as His representatives, are supposed to be the ones to show what is good and best. granting mercy to those that don't deserve it. taking care of the ones no one wants to care for. not pushing our morals on others, but living them - which shows a strength and peace that is incomprehensible until you experience it personally. when we live in peace and strength without saying or pushing anything, it causes people to want to know what lets us live that way. it is time to quit staying in a whining position of hurt and self-pity and let God finish the work He started.
i see (and have been myself) hurting people refusing to let the hurt go - actually denying the power of God's healing in their life. words coming out of their mouth lying about God's ability to work in their life. i am living proof that God can take a heart full of pain, bitterness, and hurt and turn it around.
and here is my little rampage - it is ridiculous for those of us that claim Jesus as our Lord, our Savior, to not walk in freedom from hurts, bitterness, whatever we are claiming God can not fix. God is in control. and it is a lie straight from the pit of hell to say that our pain and suffering is too great in ANY situation for God to deal with. it is foolish for us to make the claim that God, in essence, is a liar. we are actually agreeing with God's enemy when we say we are too.... (insert whatever here...) to let Him fix it, or for Him to fix it. NO SITUATION OR PERSON CAN BE SO BAD THAT GOD CANNOT WORK!!!!!! !!!!!!!! (and a few more..)!!!!!!!! there is no one that has done so much to you that you can not let the bad stuff go. there is no one that has been so bad or is so messed up that God can not change the outcome. and there is no situation so far gone that God can not step in and fix it. NOTHING. i am living proof. i have the proof of my life to show for it. no one and nothing can effect you or i so much that God can not change it. so get up and quit whining!!! (i also understand how difficult it is to let go of self pity and whatever other junk keeps us in that place of whining, but the outcome is so much better. and you will have character that you never thought you could have.)
my part was to acknowledge God did make provision for healing and freedom in the death of His Son, Jesus Christ. He knew bad things would happen, people would hurt me, and i would have the choice to hold it or let it go. He gave me permission to make that choice. making the wrong choice led me to years of pain and suffering. but God is gracious and full of mercy.
He allowed me a change of heart. i forgave the people involved in hurting me (still have to recall that they are forgiven at times. satan loves to bring up old junk and hurt, but i have forgiven those people and have given them mercy for what they did. EVEN THO THEY DID NOT DESERVE MERCY.) i forgave myself (sometimes the hardest part), and asked for healing for those parts of my heart that wanted to keep hurting. (strange but when you live with junk it gets comfortable and a person likes living with it. like having a great big home and collecting stuff - you don't even know you have most of the stuff. when you go through it - or have to move - it is at times overwhelming to the point of wanting to keep it all. and it hurts to get rid of some of the things, but when they are let go there comes a peace. like a burden lifted off that you don't even know you are carrying...)
so i let go of that stuff - the hate, hurt, bitterness, pain, mistrust, etc (and believe me it was and is not easy. there is so much to still deal with. but i am so thankful that i am not who and what i was and never have to be there again. God is sooooooo good!!!)
each day i get up and ask for strength to face what is coming my way that day. and i boast that God is getting me through every moment. it is so nice to be free of those hindrances. i find that God can now take me into a place of learning what it is to love freely. not holding back my love from people. He commanded us to love one another, that people should know us by our love for one another. He will guard me and protect me from danger or hurt. see, He has taken hurt from me, and i now have the experience of being healed from that hurt, that when hurtful things are said i know i can run to my Papa and be healed. I DON'T HAVE TO HOLD ONTO THAT HURTFUL STUFF. He takes it and deals with the person.
God has told me this month He is going to show me what it is to love, to give it, receive it, know it, accept it, show it, to live it. He warned me that it is not going to be easy but He will guard me and protect me. to tell you something that was not easy to hear. i feel there has been so much hurt already and i really don't want to have anymore, but to know that He has already done so much for me and that He has ended things in my life, to know that He has my back and will take care of me. and i know that His character is to never leave me or forsake me, that He is for my good ALWAYS. well that all means i will be okay. i will come out on top. and i just may learn what love, true love really is. i definitely want that.
so it is time to pull ourselves up out of our defiant position, full of hurt and let God be our healer, redeemer, restoration, etc - what is it you need? He is all that and more.
time to cry out to Him. let Him know you can't do it and you know He and He alone can. it is better to live in freedom than those chains that keep you from living.
The Undeniable And Unexplainable
alright mom said i needed to show the sides and back of my hair - actually the back but i have included the sides too, just for show.
here is my left side (not necessarily the best mind you)
here is the back. notice there is blonde, red, AND black...
and the right side (i think i fixed this pict better than the others. seems to be better show of the colors). the color is quite intense and i am getting LOTS of compliments... YEAH!!
today we had inclement weather - that means the school canceled classes so i didn't get to go into work tonight. sooo i slept most of the day - i am not going to catch all the bugs going around thank you Father for the deep restoring sleep. and drank oj along with reading the last of the series bob and i have been trying to get through. the author of the wheel of time series has died before finishing the series so i am not exactly sure when the series will "end". i am right in the middle of several threads of story being tied up well. i believe they (his wife and publisher) have been able to find an author (that robert jordan) approved so the last book can be written. if you are interested in following what i am talking about just click your mouse on any of the blue words and they will take you to a site telling you what i am referring.
actually the weather was not really bad.
i went to church tonight. so nice to go on a thurs again. pastor mark referenced the story of the blind man Jesus used mud to heal, from John 9.
people complained about how Jesus did the miracle, who He was (whether from God or not), if the man was ever really blind, that Jesus did a miracle -"work" - on the day you were not to work,.... and all kinds of other stupid points. THE REAL THING WAS THE MAN WAS BLIND AND COULD NOW SEE. Jesus healed him and the people getting involved missed the entire point. THE MAN COULD SEE.
we so often deny the unexplainable and undeniable of God. there are things we just can not be comfortable with and God is okay with us not knowing the entire story. the fact is that God wants to do something for us and others and we can totally miss the point if we ask the wrong questions - why did Jesus use mud?.if we deny it is happening - was he really blind?. if we say it can not be of God - was Jesus from God or a was He a sinner? (i.e. can God really use someone that has their nose pierced? or wear those clothes...?) AGAIN NOT THE POINT - THE REAL DEAL IS HAPPENING AND WE ARE MISSING IT. God doesn't get all caught up on man's rules - "it was the sabbath we don't work on the sabbath"....
we can continue down a path of denial and wrong questions listening to our rules about how things must be done until finally we are angry at anything God does and anyone/thing He uses to accomplish His will. that is a bad place to find ones self.
it is time to quit denying the undeniable and unexplainable of God. the blind man can see and the man who healed him is ever vigilant to provide what we need.
Father help us to not box You in and not throw out what we can not explain about You. there are just some things we will never understand. i remember Your ways are not my/our ways and Your thought are not my/our thoughts. You are better than we are or can be.
i wish you all blessed sleep and full rest tonight. my love to you.
here is my left side (not necessarily the best mind you)
here is the back. notice there is blonde, red, AND black...
and the right side (i think i fixed this pict better than the others. seems to be better show of the colors). the color is quite intense and i am getting LOTS of compliments... YEAH!!today we had inclement weather - that means the school canceled classes so i didn't get to go into work tonight. sooo i slept most of the day - i am not going to catch all the bugs going around thank you Father for the deep restoring sleep. and drank oj along with reading the last of the series bob and i have been trying to get through. the author of the wheel of time series has died before finishing the series so i am not exactly sure when the series will "end". i am right in the middle of several threads of story being tied up well. i believe they (his wife and publisher) have been able to find an author (that robert jordan) approved so the last book can be written. if you are interested in following what i am talking about just click your mouse on any of the blue words and they will take you to a site telling you what i am referring.
actually the weather was not really bad.
i went to church tonight. so nice to go on a thurs again. pastor mark referenced the story of the blind man Jesus used mud to heal, from John 9.
people complained about how Jesus did the miracle, who He was (whether from God or not), if the man was ever really blind, that Jesus did a miracle -"work" - on the day you were not to work,.... and all kinds of other stupid points. THE REAL THING WAS THE MAN WAS BLIND AND COULD NOW SEE. Jesus healed him and the people getting involved missed the entire point. THE MAN COULD SEE.
we so often deny the unexplainable and undeniable of God. there are things we just can not be comfortable with and God is okay with us not knowing the entire story. the fact is that God wants to do something for us and others and we can totally miss the point if we ask the wrong questions - why did Jesus use mud?.if we deny it is happening - was he really blind?. if we say it can not be of God - was Jesus from God or a was He a sinner? (i.e. can God really use someone that has their nose pierced? or wear those clothes...?) AGAIN NOT THE POINT - THE REAL DEAL IS HAPPENING AND WE ARE MISSING IT. God doesn't get all caught up on man's rules - "it was the sabbath we don't work on the sabbath"....
we can continue down a path of denial and wrong questions listening to our rules about how things must be done until finally we are angry at anything God does and anyone/thing He uses to accomplish His will. that is a bad place to find ones self.
it is time to quit denying the undeniable and unexplainable of God. the blind man can see and the man who healed him is ever vigilant to provide what we need.
Father help us to not box You in and not throw out what we can not explain about You. there are just some things we will never understand. i remember Your ways are not my/our ways and Your thought are not my/our thoughts. You are better than we are or can be.
i wish you all blessed sleep and full rest tonight. my love to you.
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